


Every Ash Was Once A Fire

by heroes_never_die



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellamy Blake & Nathan Miller Friendship, Bellamy Blake & Raven Reyes Friendship, Damsels in Distress, Established Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Minor Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Minor Monty Green/Jasper Jordan, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Modern Setting Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, Octavia Blake Ships It, POV Third Person Omniscient, Past Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Past Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Protective Bellamy Blake, Sexual Violence, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23470351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heroes_never_die/pseuds/heroes_never_die
Summary: Clarke Griffin meets a young, charming Bellamy Blake through mutual friends, a chipper, 'match-maker' of a sister; but he doesn't know what everyone else knows. What happened a year ago, what a strong, brutal, rich, big-headed boy named Finn Collins put her through. And when she suddenly is forced to be with both of them in the span of a week, what will Bellamy find out? What will he do to Finn? What will he do to protect his princess?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Monty Green & Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake/Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake/Lincoln Burrows, Raven Reyes/Kyle Wick
Comments: 18
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for clicking, and I'll be updating soon! Enjoy!

A week. The power had been out for a week. Dead batteries, no fresh food. No running water, and a blizzard outside. Clarke was running out of supplies, and her college had done little to compensate due to the three feet of snow outside, and there were no visible roads. As the bare sunlight streamed through the window she yawned, covering her mouth with her small hands. 

A loose sweat-shirt was all she wore in the freezing dormitory, along with a barely fitting pair of leggings, since she had left all of her clothes at her former dorm. She’d just moved to this dorm, away from one of the boys that was next door to their dormitory. Clarke’s entire body felt like she was on fire, but a fire that burned blue with frost. 

Suddenly, the door opened, letting even more bitter air into the small room. Clarke looked up from her solitaire game to see a smiling face, and recognized Bellamy Blake, one of the few friends she had. His smile faded, and her chattering teeth tried to form words, but just couldn’t. “Clarke, Jesus - where’s your jacket?”

“It’s at my… my old room. All I had were these from h-huh-high school.” She shivered, smiling smally as Bellamy bent down and began collecting clothing, putting it into a suit-case. “C-Can I ask what you’re d-doing?” She smirked, looking as Bellamy collected her things, packing her empty room. “Bellamy.”

“You’re staying in my room, I have my own heating in there.” Bellamy announced, not bothering to ask for her opinion. “C’mon, you’re going to freeze in here.” Clarke’s skin and lips were blue, and her breathing was coated with a thin layer of shuddering and shivering. 

“I-I think I’ve already… a-accomplished that, Bel.” Clarke smiled, trying to get up, but her body was literally frozen. “Bellamy, stop.” Clarke moaned as he began wrapping her in his jacket, and with no warning, picked her up in his muscular, warm arms. 

“Bellamy, y-you’ll freeze. How are we even going to g-get to your t-truck?”

“We’ll just have to run fast.” Bellamy smiled, looking down at Clarke as he exited the dorm, allowing Clarke to look back one last time to her frosted windows and ice-cold bed. “Just, keep your jacket closed, and stay close to me.”

“You wish.”

“Don’t make me leave you behind, Clarke.” Bellamy smiled, looking down at her. “Seriously, though. You need body heat.” Bellamy repeated, holding Clarke closer with a sudden burning sensation in both of their cheeks, the only warmth in Clarke’s body. 

“It’s s-so fucking freezing.” Clarke uttered to him as they stepped into the storm with Bellamy running through the snow, trying to get to his truck. “I c-can’t feel my b-body, B-Buh-Bellamy.” 

“I know, we’re here now. My truck can get through the snow, don’t worry.” Clarke looked up at him with what little strength she had. “What? It’s only a couple years old. Besides, worse case scenario, O can just come get us with her truck.”

“Isn’t hers also s-six years o-old. And b-barely runs.” 

“I warned you not to make me leave you out here, you’re treading on thin ice right now, princess.” Bellamy joked once again, and nearly threw Clarke into his truck, which was filled with ‘heat’ and his scent. “Are you warm?”

He quickly started the truck, and sped off in the blizzard, looking over at Clarke every couple of seconds. Her face was more alive, and she looked warmer, but her breath was labored, and her lips and skin matched the color of the snow outside. “It’s b-better now. I’m s-sorry I called you.”

“Clarke. You really need to learn self-respect, just saying. Besides, I had to pick up Miller anyway. You were on the way home.” Bellamy tried to smile, but Clarke’s weak figure in the passenger seat wasn’t exactly encouraging. 

“Yeah, you’re not too bad yourself.” Clarke smiled weakly, and rejoiced silently when she saw the Cabin, Bellamy’s dormitory, along with a fair few of her friends… away from… that boy. “Do we have to go out again?” Clarke groaned, pulling Bellamy’s jacket closer to her hands, trying to absorb herself in it. 

“Yes. It’s like, a two foot walk, it’s fine. Our dorm’s heated, Raven figured out how to get the heat back on and talked to the faculty.” Bellamy rapidly exited the van, leaving Clarke in it for a minute until he opened her side of the automobile, and scooped her up, quickly running into the blizzard, reaching for the door handle. It was frozen for a second, and Bellamy’s cold turned cold as well for a second, until someone from the inside opened the door, and slammed it as soon as the two were in. 

“Is she okay, Bel?” A voice asked as Clarke looked up, barely moving. “I’ll get some blankets.”

“Thanks, O.” Bellamy grumbled as he carried her into the large suite building. The electricity was somehow on. They must’ve contacted the admin building or the staff and gotten the power on, meanwhile people were freezing to death in the dorms where students were still swimming out of their student loans. “Hey, Clarke. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, just freezing.” Clarke shivered, trying to cover even a patch of skin with fabric. “I still c-can’t feel anything.” Clarke whimpered, trying to lift her head, but being too weak.

“It’s okay, all the power is on here. O’s getting some blankets, and you can sleep in my room, I’ll take the couch.” Clarke shook her head softly as Bellamy placed her on a leather couch, wrapping his jacket around her while removing his hoodie, revealing yet another sweatshirt below it. 

“N-no, I’m not taking your r-room.” Clarke protested, and patted the couch with a small smile. “I’m used to taking the couch, it’s fine.” Clarke smiled, remembering back to after her parents died, and she was sent to that orphanage… no beds, just mattresses. Could this be worse?

“Really.” Clarke assured Bellamy after he gave her an annoyed look, showing his chivalrous side. “This couch is nicer than my entire bed in my dorm, and warmer.” Clarke smiled cuddling in Bellamy’s jacket. “Thanks so much, Bel. For saving my life.”

“You’re giving me a bit too much credit.” Bellamy smiled, and suddenly Clarke frowned, thinking back to one desperate thought she remembered during the army of frost. 

“I heard… I heard Finn downstairs, and at first… I thought I was having a nightmare, but… he was next door. Thanks for saving my life.” She repeated, and her glassy eyes suddenly looked through Bellamy. He wasn’t sure who Finn was, since he had just entered the school a month ago, but he would ask Octavia soon. Clarke didn’t seem to like him, she feared him, in fact. Curious, he thought. 

“No sweat, princess.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Sure thing, princess.” Clarke rolled her eyes and looked up at him. There was a moment of silence, and they both suddenly felt their hearts beat much faster, and their cheeks brightened with red, providing more warmth to Clarke: until, Octavia ran towards Clarke, hugging her tightly.  
“Clarke! Nice to see you didn’t turn into a snowman!” Octavia smiled, and suddenly piled dozens of blankets on Clarke, as a couple of friends appeared behind Octavia.  
Miller, Monty, Harper, Raven, Jasper, and one of the staff members who stayed in the dorm -since he was only a year older than the students, and was well friends with the majority of them- quickly walked towards Clarke with little patience in them. 

“Yeah, h-hey guys.” She stuttered, still slightly cold. Octavia shot Bellamy a look as he instinctively wrapped his arm around Clarke, keeping her warm and close. She didn’t even notice, and his red cheeks remained cherry-colored. 

Everyone muttered their greetings, happy to see Clarke alive, and suddenly, Octavia shoved Bellamy away from Clarke taking his spot, and looked at all of the boys. “Can you guys give us a bit?”  
“What, are you all having a cult meeting or something?” Miller joked, but recognized the look on Octavia’s face, and the name on her tongue, someone everyone but Bellamy had heard of. “Alright… see you later, Clarke.”

“Y-yeah, I guess I’ll be here for a while.” Clarke smield smally, wrapping herself in the blankets, as Octavia hugged her tightly. “Bellamy, it’s fine.” Clarke saw the look on his face, and eventually, with a suspicious look, he followed Miller, Monty, and Jasper: while Raven, Harper, and Octavia stuck behind. “I know you heard us talking about Finn, O. And no, he didn’t speak to me.”

“Wow, he actually has a brain.” Raven scowled, thinking of the boy: how she’d actually loved him once. It was disgusting, not after what he did to Clarke. After what he did. “Are you sure he didn’t go near you?” Raven asked again, gently braiding Clarke’s freezing, wet hair. Snow crystallized it in a beautiful way, but she was still freezing, and dirty, from not showering for a week. 

“No, I’m fine, Raven. Thanks, anyway.” Raven nodded, and a comfortable silence fell over the group. “Bellamy saved me from him.” Clarke smiled, remembering how he nearly broke Clarke's door down, and then Bellamy arrived. She was so afraid, but then: Bellamy, her best friend… to her rescue like a knight. 

“Okay, sorry if this is offensive, but you actually stink, Clarke. Do you wanna use my shower?” Harper laughed, and they suddenly all broke out in smiles and laughs. 

“I vote yes.” Octavia chimed in, and once they had gossiped about who liked who: with Harper gushing about Monty, and Clarke briefly mentioning Bellamy shyly, but she knew deep down she wasn’t ready for another relationship, not after how the last one ended. 

“Okay, O… can I borrow your shower?”

“You sure you don’t want to use Bellamy’s?” Octavia laughed, and the other two broke out in laughter. Clarke’s cheeks burned red and she playfully smacked Octavia with a pillow lying next to her. 

“Shut up!” She laughed, and ran off to Octavia’s dorm, leaving the other three in laughter, and an eternal gossip and chatter. “Okay… shampoo.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has been through a lot: her parent's death, and more... but does Bellamy know? And what will happen when he finds out? How angry will she be?

"Your turn, Clarke. Flip, Marry, Kill." Fox asked, moving closer to Clarke with a sly expression. Every light was off in the dorm building, and Bellamy had assisted Clarke in setting candles around the lounge. Now, the entire friend group was playing a game: Flip, Marry, Kill.

"Murphy. Miller. And… Bellamy." Fox announced, a snide expression on her face. 

Clarke's face shifted red, and she felt a lump in her throat as she avoided Bellamy's eyes. Just make a joke out of it. No one will remember in the morning. Except the fucking Blakes. She thought to herself, and looked up to Bellamy.

He met her eyes, and gifted her a small smile. His eyes were illuminated in the candle-light, and they gifted her a small relief of comfort. "Um… f-flip, Murphy." Clarke stuttered, blinking back horrible memories with a slight pool of tears in her eyes. Bellamy noticed, and wanted to reach and comfort her, but bright it best not to humiliate her. Clarke looked up and started laughing it off. 

Meanwhile, not knowing Clarke's past, and pretended to unbuckle his belt, and pretended to throw it in the air. Clarke looked towards him, her eyes bulging and warning Clarke of incoming tears.

"Murphy, shut the fuck up." Miller growled, his voice and glare deadly. He did know Clarke's past, and realized what Murphy was doing was setting her back in months of progress. "Clarke, continue." Clarke nodded, thanking Murphy with her new expression and a small smile. 

"Marry… marry Bellamy." Clarke stuttered, and suddenly, she felt humiliated, wanting to abruptly run out into the snow and die. Literally. 

"Ooh, does princess have a crush?" Murphy piped up, snickering wildly at Clarke, making her only more suicidal. Bellamy rolled his eyes, and snarled at Murphy. 

"Murphy, shut up." He growled, beckoning the cockroach back." Murphy raised his hands, surrendering while Clarke picked at her nails, wishing desperately that her Harry Potter powers would suddenly activate so she could sink into the floor. Was there a spell for that? She hadn't read those books since her parents died. 

"So that means you're killing… Miller!" Fox laughed, and Miller pretended to grab at his heart, collapsing on his beanbag chair. "Aw, poor Miller!"

"Breaks my heart to see it." Octavia mocked, ruffling Miller's hair as he slowly regained his posture, rising to see Clarke's smiling face, and he got up a little quicker. "Okay, who is next?"

"You are." Harper smiled, groaning as she pushed herself next to Octavia, grabbing her hand. "Flip, Marry, Kill. Jasper, Murphy, and… that guy you're dating, Lincoln?"

Murphy met Octavia's eyes the same way he looked at Clarke, and Bellamy felt the same hunger to protect her he felt for Clarke. The same love.

"Murphy, fucking kill Murphy." Octavia announced, kicking Murphy away from her. Clarke held a small smile on her face as Murphy winced, retreating to his two friends, who were both looking at Clarke and Octavia the same way. They were Finn's best friends. 

"I guess I'm marrying Lincoln, then." Octavia asked, sending a ripple of chuckles out across the small group. Snow and rain poured against the glass ceiling, making it only feel cozier in the warm lodge building. "Guess I'm fucking-"

Jasper pulled a mocking, flirty expression, not one similar to Murphy's. His was goofy, and resembled the embodiment of Jasper: a good-hearted goof.

"I truly am honored. Shall I escort you to your chariot?" Monty suddenly rocketed up, pretending to fight Jasper. 

"Goddammit, that's my wife!" Monty yelled, faking a poor southern accent, and pretending to cock an air shotgun. 

"Okay, okay!" Raven yelled, silencing the laughter. "Bellamy Blake. Your turn." 

"Fuck, Marry, and Kill. Raven, Echo, and our very own Clarke Griffin." Murphy chimed in, his smile growing. Octavia pushed him back out of the candlelight, allowing her brother to respond. 

"Flip Raven." Bellamy's gruff voice responded, and now he too was trying to avoid the three girls' stares. Especially the blonde's. "Marry… Princess, I guess." Bellamy looked to Clarke, and the smile on her face was enchanting, until he looked at Echo scowling at the poor other girl. "And kill Echo." He shrugged, not thinking much of it. 

"Oof." Harper thought aloud, matching everyone else's thoughts in the room quite well.

"Yup." Echo once again rolled her eyes and scowled at Clarke, who was still in her shy and reserved state. She looked towards Echo, and smiled softly, trying to comfort her, but Echo only scoffed and looked away. 

"Okay, well. I think I am going to go to bed, it's already midnight." Clarke smiled, and yawned quietly. Bellamy watched her walk towards her couch as the rest of the group murmured, and began to stand, heading towards their dorms. She looked sad.

"Clarke, you sure you don't want to just take my room?" Clarke looked up, and smiled a little bit. She loved Bellamy. He had no idea what she had been through. But still, he was always there. 

"Bellamy, I am not going to take your bed."Clarke realized she wanted him there, near her. "Do… do you have a couch in your room? It's cold in this room." She lied, and wondered what would happen if she had one of her nightmares.

"Yeah, sure thing. C'mon, let me get you your chariot, m'lady." Bellamy bowed, before Clarke playfully hit him over the head with her pillow.   
"  
Thanks, Bellamy." Clarke smiled, breaking the silence as they walked into his room. She had brought her pillow, and a small cosmetics bag the size of her foot. 

"No problem, don't want our only cook turning into a snowman." Clarke smiled, and took three bottles of pills out of her bag, her back turned from Bellamy. He was looking at the bottles curiously, and Clarke could feel his stare. 

"They're for my anxiety, and… depression." Clarke answered, not looking at Bellamy with a face of shame. "I left the rest at my dorm, they're probably bad by now."

"Clarke, I had no idea." Bellamy's voice was soothing, but Clarke looked back at him. 

"Please, don't pity me. I'm fine, Bellamy." Clarke smiled, and swallowed three of the pills with a wince. "I am." She repeated, more firm.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Bellamy asked, sitting down next to her before handing her a warm blanket. It was fuzzy, and warm, and smelled of his misted scent.

"Nothing to talk about. Just two dead parents and other fucked up shit." Clarke answered, throwing the blanket over her and hugging it. 

Bellamy always forgot that Clarke lost her parents, she just always seemed so strong. "Okay, well… if you want to-"

"Don't pity me, Bellamy." Clarke repeated, looking up at him with desperate eyes. "Thanks for the couch, though." She smiled, and almost instantly, her shy persona returned. 

"No problem, princess. See you in the morning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading, guys! update soon!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy thought Clarke's depression and anxiety stemmed from her parents' deaths, but when he finds out the truth from someone other than her, what will he do; and what lengths will he go to to protect the girl that has stolen his heart, when he thought he didn't even have one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, just in case no one saw the warnings, sexual assualt in this episode, and if that triggers any of you, just skip this work, and go read some of the other really good Bellarke works! Thanks for all of the feedback and kudos' I got on the last two chapters, it means so much! Enjoy! New chapters within a couple of days! :o

It was now a week and three days. Clarke had become known as the official cook in the dorm, and was adored by everyone there. Bellamy and her became even closer friends, meanwhile: both of them neglected their feelings, letting them grow even stronger. “Bellamy.”

“Yes, princess?”

“I know you took my makeup, where is it?” Clarke groaned, dressed in nothing but a towel, as she had just finished showering. She thought nothing of it, as she had known him since right after she’d lost her parents: six years. On the other hand, Bellamy’s face immediately reddened and he used every ounce of willpower in his body to keep his eyes on her face, and not compliment her beautiful body. “Whatever are you talking about?” He smiled in a mocking tone, noticeably hiding a palette behind his back, hiding his face from Clarke. Hiding what was on it.

“Maybe Octavia took it?” Clarke rolled her eyes, and walked over to him. He was laid across his bed, looking at his lap-top intensely as not to look at Clarke’s nearly nude body.

“Bellamy. Hand it over.” Clarke used her serious, ‘I will murder you’ voice, and eventually he looked at her, and let her see his face, revealing the poor makeup scrawled across it. “Bellamy!” Clarke laughed, and noticed it looked like he’d given into the wish of allowing four year olds to do his makeup.

“What, I wanted to be a pretty princess like you, Clarke!” Bellamy smiled, and handed her the palette. “Do you think I’m beautiful, Clarke?” Bellamy asked, posing for her, causing her to only redden and laugh more.

“You look astonishing, Bellamy. But now, you’re letting me do your makeup once I’m dressed, and you have to wear it the rest of the day.” Clarke challenged, trying to forget she literally called Bellamy cute. He didn’t forget it either.

“Hmmm… well, fine. If it cures your boredom, m’lady.” Bellamy bowed as Clarke elegantly left the room with her towel covering her slim body. "Nice job, Bellamy. You're in love with your best fucking friend." He chuckled to himself. "How will I ever get out of this one?"

"You could tell her." Bellamy whipped around to see Octavia, standing there with a small grin. "You're not hiding it well, I hope you know that."

"Thanks for the pep-talk, O." Bellamy muttered, hiding his face in his silk pillows.

"Luckily, she is just as in love as you, so you should be fine. Well, before Finn anyway." Octavia frowned, thinking back to the many times Clarke gushed about her brother. All of them before Finn, after she couldn't even think of boys regularly, without having her flashbacks and PTSD attacks. "You have to be careful though, Bellamy. After Finn... she's not ready yet. To get hurt. I shouldn't even be telling you this." 

"Finn? Finn Collins, right? What's Clarke's problem with him?" Bellamy asked, unaware of what he was asking. Octavia's expression changed, and she suddenly had tears in her eyes.

"O?"

"You genuinely do not know, do you?" Octavia asked, and he frowned as she looked back to the door, making sure it was closed. She sat on his bed, heaving a sigh.

"O?" He asked, feeling his arms and legs numb. He knew Clarke had problems with depression and anxiety, but... he'd always thought it was because of her parents, or the stress of school. What if it was something else?

"We were at a party last year. Clarke and Finn had a fling, but she just figured out he was seeing another girl. Raven." Octavia's voice was hoarse, and as dry as sand. Bellamy was silent, afraid of what was coming. The only way he knew Finn was from the fact he lived across the hall from Bellamy. He'd found him to be scummy, but tolerable... though he wasn't sure he would still think that of him after Octavia's confession.

"We all got drunk, except Clarke. She was the driver. We… we were ready to leave, and Clarke was still missing." Octavia began to tear up, and her voice grew more hoarse. "We heard noises coming from one of the dorms. Finn's dorm… screams."

"O…" Bellamy started, and suddenly he was too beginning to cry, seeing where this was going. "He raped her, Bellamy. And, he…" Bellamy's breath hitched, and he suddenly felt a lifetime of sorrow compile in one second. That was why she was so afraid of Finn at her dorm. He was outside. Bellamy was livid, and suddenly realized why Clarke had been so depressed lately. "

What?" His voice was now hoarse too, and tears rolled down his freckled face. "What else?" "He posted a video of it." Octavia uttered, picking at her nails anxiously, trying her best not to remember Clarke's screeching, or the memory of him standing over her bloodied legs.

"He wasn't even suspended, despite there being video evidence." "Its because his fucking wallet is bigger than his dick, but that isn't saying much." Bellamy growled, suddenly pacing around the room.

"God, I'm such a fucking idiot. How did I not see this? Why didn't she tell me?"

"She hates people treating her like a victim, so don't you dare do that. She'll fucking kill me for telling you." Octavia groaned, before getting up suddenly, and looking back at Bellamy. "Bellamy. Do not let Finn near Clarke, or it will happen again, and that will be on you." She ordered before exiting the room. Bellamy sat on his bed for nearly an hour, crying. He eventually wiped his tears, found a new anger inside of him, and went to find Clarke, to let her do his makeup.

He would obey his sister's orders. Both of them. He wouldn't let Finn fucking Collins anywhere near her, and he would treat her normally: but, he wasn't sure he would keep that ladder promise.

"I'm going to fucking kill him." Bellamy growled with tears in his eyes. Thinking of Clarke, being used like that… what if it was Octavia? Had Clarke saved her from that? By taking her place?

"Fucking… fuck." He swore again, crying himself to sleep.

_It was loud, and Clarke never liked parties. Octavia, Harper, and Raven were all drunk, and Clarke never liked being alone and sober at a party. Clarke groaned, rubbing the exhaustion out of her eyes. There was a bedroom on the right, and honestly, Clarke didn't even remember whose house this was._

_Jesus." She moaned, and felt a headache dawn over her. She hadn't had a drop of alcohol, and she had drank it before. She had a hangover. She laid down on the bed, leaving her heels beside as she unraveled her hair, letting it fall beside her. As she was falling asleep, she heard a door open, and tried to look up, but that was when her blood ran cold._

_She couldn't move. Soon enough, she was panicking, and soon enough, a face hovered above her. It was Finn Collins, Clarke's ex-boyfriend, if you could even call it that. Their fling had lasted maybe a month, and Clarke ended things after she found out Finn had not only a girlfriend, but a bad case of being a creep._

_"_ _F-Finn, help. I can't move, I think someone drugged me. Can you get Octavia, or call Bellamy? My phone's on the night table."_

_Clarke's body was now fully paralyzed, and she was terrified and confused. It was when he began stroking her bare face and arms that she realized he was the one who drugged her. He was going to do bad things to her, she could tell by the expression on his face. "You did this, didn't you? Finn, what did you slip in my drink?" Clarke asked, trying to get up and run. She knew he was weird, but this was blowing things out of proportion._

_"A shit ton of muscle relaxers. You are going to regret dumping me, Clarke. No one will come near me now ever since you called me a stalker." Finn continued to touch Clarke, and she fought every urge to scream. She begged her body to get up, but the drugs in her system refused, and she knew that he was going to do to her. Roofie. The date rape drug._

_"Finn. No. Please, I'll- I'll give you money, I'll release the charges, just please… don't do this. You are going to regret it." Clarke cried as tears began to roll down her cheeks when Finn removed her dress, revealing her bare, nude body._

_"We'll see." Finn growled, and pulled her towards him while removing his own jeans and under-garments. Clarke began to scream and sob, wishing for someone to come in. She couldn’t help but let her mind flash to Bellamy. Bellamy Blake. She was planning on telling him she loved him tomorrow… she screamed his name._

_“Shut up!” Finn snarled, pacing the room before striking Clarke across the face, silencing her quickly._

_“Please, Finn… stop. What do you want?! Money? I- I can give you money, just stop!” She sobbed as Finn lined himself up with her core, not bothering to slow down for her or even consider her pleasure._

_“I told you what I want, princess. I want you to know how much you hurt my reputation, and now: you’re going to be nothing except the girl who got raped, which is what a bitch like you deserves.”_

_He pushed into her, knowing that this wasn’t what she wanted. She sobbed even louder, and after around four minutes of her weeping -begging- for him to stop, for someone to come: Octavia wanted to go home, and went to find Clarke._

_Finn had beat, hu_ _rt, and used Clarke like a rag-doll: something to throw away after she was done with it. Sometimes, she thought about what she would do if this were to happen. Clarke decided she would beat the person who had done it, and go to the police: an amazing hero in her own story, but now… she just collapsed when she saw Octavia break down the door with Miller there, and broke. Miller tackled Finn, who somehow managed to get away and run out of the building, leaving Clarke with Octavia and Miller. Octavia ran to Clarke’s side, her own tears running down her face._

_“Holy shit, Clarke. Can you hear me? It’s Octavia, I’m right here.”_

_“I- I can’t move…” Clarke sobbed, trying to shake her own beads of blood off of her face with her barely transverse body._

_“H-he roofied me.” “We need to get her to the hospital, she’s bleeding.” Miller observed the dozens of scars lining Clarke’s body, and instantly gave her his jacket and took a pair of sweatpants from the bedroom’s closet, clothing Clarke quickly with a furious expression. “_

_Should we go after Finn?” Octavia asked, and took her phone out, calling the police; walking out of the room so that Clarke didn’t have to hear her describe what had happened. “_

_Clarke, it’s Miller. We’re going to get you home, okay? You’re going to be fine.” Miller comforted her and scooped Clarke into his arms. “We’re going to the car now, can you move yet?” Clarke ceased her crying to shake her head, uttering a quiet: “_

_No.” She hid herself in Miller’s jacket, avoiding looks from party-goers as they ran out of the house, Octavia close behind. They were gone before the music even turned off. Finn was never arrested, being Arkadia University’s resident ‘golden-boy.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Remember to leave a kudos, and give me any feedback, telling me what you'd like me to do in the next chapter, or just telling me how much you liked this one! Thanks again! Stay safe and have a good day! :3


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy knows what happens now, and his love for Clarke only grows. He wants to hold her; protect her from the boy who assualted her... will he be able to, or will he fail at yet another thing?

"Hey, Clarke?"

Harper approached Clarke with a huge smile and a hungry expression.

"Please, please, please make your cookies again tonight… I'm hungry."

Clarke sighed, and rolled her eyes, but couldn't conceal a small smile. "Harper, you are always hungry. But…"

Clarke's face twisted into a face of pure glee, and turned towards Harper.

"I will make my cookies, if you ask Monty out." "Clarke, that's not fair!" Harper whined, but debated it in her head.

"I'm fifty percent sure he loves Jasper!" "Harper."

Clarke smiled, and began to take out the ingredients necessary for cookies.

"You're beautiful, and smart. He'd be insane if he didn't like you." Clarke smiled, parting Harper's hair with her nails like she was her daughter.

"Clarke…" She whined again, but took a deep breath and nodded. "Fine. But I want my cookies. Or I'll getcha!"

Harper wagged her finger like a witch before walking towards Monty's dorm, fearful and nervous. "Hey, Clarke." Clarke jumped out of her skin, not seeing Bellamy behind her.

"Fucking… Bellamy, you can't sneak up on people like that, christ."

She breathed, holding her head for a second before looking up to see Bellamy smiling for a small second, but… something was wrong. His smile was fake, and his eyes looked empty.

"What do you need?"

"N-nothing, I just… do you need any help or something?" Bellamy asked, gesturing to the bags of chocolate chips and dough.

"They're really putting you to work, huh?"

"Well, I finally got Harper to tell Monty how she feels, so I would consider today a less horrible one." Clarke smiled, and began to throw ingredients into a bowl, mixing them together as Bellamy's glassy eyes looked right through her.

"Bellamy?" He stayed still for a few moments, not even moving his head. "Bellamy." She repeated, moving his head with her hands.

"Y-yeah." Clarke smiled, looking at him. "Yeah, hey." He spoke with a disgruntled voice.

"You're acting weird. Did Octavia say something about me?" Clarke asked, thinking of all the times she gushed to Octavia about Bellamy, well… before Finn happened. "Clarke-"

"Because whatever she said, it's a lie, I promise-" Clarke laughed anxiously, as Bellamy squinted, like he was seeing a light too bright for his eyes.

"Clarke." He repeated, saying it harsher and louder, but quiet enough so that many of the misplaced students littering the lounge couldn't hear.

"Bellamy?" She asked, realizing this was more serious, and she nodded, letting him speak. Her voice was quiet, and extremely anxious.

"Look, Clarke - I… Octavia told me, I know… I know." He repeated, not being able to spit it out. "I know."

"What are…" Clarke's face conjured a look of realization, and hurt. She looked towards Octavia, who was talking with Raven and Miller. Octavia met her eye from a dozen feet away, and recognized the look on her best friend's face. "She… Octavia told you?" Her voice broke in anger and tragedy, and it snapped a part of Bellamy he didn't realize he had.

"Clarke, I'm so… why didn't you tell me?" He asked, his voice hoarse; like nails on a chalk-board.

"Why? Bellamy, I tell who I want to tell. I didn't want you to look at me like a victim." Clarke sneered, looking towards Octavia again.

"It is my story to tell, not yours, not fucking Finn's, and certainly not Octavia's. This is… you're both unbelievable." Clarke stammered, before leaving Bellamy to confront Octavia, who was pale.

"You told him?" Clarke laughed, tears rolling down her face. Bellamy was still stuck in time, with guilt riddling his face. He didn't want it to go down like this… he wanted to hug her, and keep her safe from the boy that lived down the hall, keep her safe from everything.

"Clarke, he needed-"

"I don't fucking care, Octavia. That isn't your story to tell, and it is not your fucking place to run your mouth to whoever you feel like." Clarke cried, having an anxiety attack in the middle of the lounge, in front of a dozen people.

"Clarke, I'm sorry. I should've talked to you first, but he needed to know. You were never going to tell him." Clarke scoffed, rolling her eyes as mascara stained her face.

"That isn't your fucking decision, O!" Clarke panicked, and looked around at all of the people staring at her, some of them not knowing what it was about.

"Just because you're in love with him doesn't give you the right to keep that from him. He needed to know." The room fell silent, and Clarke's face grew red with embarrassment and anger.

"I mean, Clarke-" A loud smack traveled through the room as Clarke struck Octavia, her face contorted with pain and tears. In any other scenario, Bellamy would have tackled Octavia's attacker, but he didn't want to make things even worse, and frankly… she kind of deserved it. Embarrassing Clarke like that, outing her in more than one way. "Clarke." Octavia cried, but Clarke held up her hand, almost staring at it if it weren't there.

"O, I'm…" Everyone one in the room knew she was sorry, but she couldn't get anything but crying out. Bellamy stayed in his bar stool, but as Clarke stormed out of the lounge, Octavia looked at him angrily, trudging over to him as the room began to grow with chatter again.

"Tell me, Bellamy. What the fuck happened to 'treat her normally?'" Octavia glared, looking at the bowl of unmade dough.

"I had-"

"No, you didn't have to do anything."

Octavia smiled sourly, digging her nails into the counter. "Just… now I have to go fix your fuckup, she'll have another one of her episodes soon."

"I'll go. She might not want to see you." Bellamy pointed out, and Octavia muttered underneath her breath. "Thanks." He muttered when she nodded, rolling her eyes and muttering 'idiot' quietly.

"Hey…" He knocked slowly on Clarke's open door, but her figure was hidden under her sheets, like a child.

"Clarke?"

"Stop… stop… stop… stop…" She murmured to herself, and was curled into a small ball, hiding her face in her pillow. "Stop." She cried, not realizing Bellamy's presence.

"Clarke?" He had never seen her like this in the six years he knew her, and it only made him feel worse, because it meant he didn't really know the real her: she had been herself, trying to make herself look better in front of him, and Bellamy realized that Octavia wasn't lying. Clarke loved him as well.

"Clarke." He repeated, shaking her gently, but all she did was keep crying, and he finally noticed that this was one of her episodes. She was back in the room with him.

"Please… stop." She murmured quietly to the point where it was barely visible. "Stop!" "Clarke!" Bellamy shook her again, and after around three minutes, she met his eyes with her damp face, and it immediately turned into a face of disappointment and humiliation. She wasn't angry with him, she was just humiliated. Having Bellamy think of her as a poor, pitied victim: a weak, little, broken girl…

"Bellamy… sorry, I… sorry." "About what?" Silence fell between them as Clarke tried to wipe her tears, but new ones replaced the old.

"Do you want to talk about it, princess?" Bellamy asked gently, but Clarke's eyes looked up, and she held her hand up, silencing him.

"Stop, don't - don't call me that. He called me… just… please, don't." Bellamy ached, and realized all of the time he had been calling her that, he was hurting her.

"Okay… I won't. Do you want to talk?" Bellamy asked, reaching for Clarke's hand slowly.

"Or do you just want me to stay?" Clarke looked with her glassy eyes, and slowly nodded, letting Bellamy take her in his large, muscular arms.

"My episodes happen… usually twice a week." Clarke croaked, thinking back to every time she saw Finn standing over her with a look of glee on his face. Bellamy stayed silent, allowing Clarke to vent.

"I just… I see him, with his smile, and then…" Her voice broke, and she started crying again. Bellamy ran his hand up and down her back, gently massaging it. "He does it, and all of the pain, and - and tears… it all comes back, and it just goes on repeat. I see the same things at night. It doesn't matter how hard I try, I'll always just be the girl that got raped. That's how everyone sees me, that's how you are looking at me right now." Clarke looked up at Bellamy, seeing his pitiful stare.

"Clarke, I am-"

"Just trying to help. 'I'm here for you,' 'I'm so sorry.' You're pitying me, they all are." Bellamy frowned. He was always better at punching. Not talking. That was Octavia's field. "Fine." Bellamy got up, and walked over to her side of the bed, and held his hand out.

"Come on." He gestured to his hand, and she looked up, confused. "You want to be treated normally, come on. We're going to finish those brownies you were making."

"Cookies." Clarke corrected, wiping her tears across her sleeves. Bellamy rolled his eyes, but inside, he was glad that she smiled for a second. It rotated his world once again.

"Cookies." Bellamy grunted, before smiling when Clarke took his hand. "Come on."

"Wait, I have…" Clarke sniffled, wiping her tears again. "... I have to apologize to Octavia." Clarke muttered, her face transforming into that of shame.

"I should never have touched her, I'm sorry."

"She kind of deserved it." Bellamy admitted, and Clarke looked up at him.

"What?" "You're not mad?" Clarke asked, and Bellamy shook his head. No matter what, he would never be upset with Clarke.

"Oh… okay, well… I can make it up to her with the cookies, then."

"Clarke, your food can make anything better. Trust me. Hey, I'll meet you there, I have to finish up something." Clarke smiled shyly and nodded, whispering a goodbye before exiting her room with a shy, healthier persona. As the door closed behind her, Murphy and his friends appeared in front of Clarke with an evil expression on his face.

"Hey, princess." One of them chimed, their voice sarcastic, forcing Clarke to move back. She backed into the door, thumping it slightly.

"Leaving Bellamy's room, huh? What, are you a whore or something now?"

"Leave me alone, Murphy." Clarke whispered, but her voice was scared, and as Murphy moved closer, she winced.

"G-get out of my way."

"G-got something to s-say?" Clarke felt her heart race as Murphy moved closer, with his hands playing with her golden hair.

"Not so strong now, huh?" Clarke knocked on the door again, leaning on it, praying that Bellamy would hear and save her. It was when Murphy started reaching for the hem of her shirt when she kicked him between his legs and ran, sprinting from the creeps as she heard the sound of Bellamy's door opening. "Get back here, princess!" Murphy yelled, racing after Clarke as the two of his friends entered a brawl with Bellamy, who was trying to make his way towards Clarke.

"Where are you going, the party's just started!" He screamed as Clarke hid behind the pocket of a wall, begging someone to save her as footsteps neared her.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-"

"Princess." A voice called, and Clarke looked up, expecting to see Murphy, but her heart swarmed as she saw Bellamy's serious face, reaching towards her. "Bellamy." She reached up, wrapping her arms around him, crying. He hugged her back, taking her in his arms.

"M-Murphy, he… he was t-touching me, and his h-hands were-"

"I know, I know." Bellamy nodded against her back, and helped her up to see Murphy's unconscious body, along with his two friends. "It's okay, I'm right here, Clarke."

"T-thanks… they were F-Finn's friends. Even, after he… after he… after the party." Clarke stuttered, trying to keep his image out of her brain, it was worse enough at night.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Bellamy's voice was furious as he passed the three boys sprawled across the floor, and he felt Clarke wince next to him.

"It's okay, they're not going to be anywhere near you now."

"Thank you." Clarke repeated, hugging him again as they walked towards the lounge. "I-I think I want Octavia right now."

"Okay, well. I don't think that we need those cookies anymore." Bellamy huffed, and as the lights of the main hall hit both of them, it seemed to Clarke that everyone was looking at her, when it was true that no one was.

"Clarke." Octavia beckoned Clarke over, almost as if nothing had happened.

"I need to apologize." "

No, I never should've touched you, Octavia. I am sorry."

"I'm sorry that I told Bellamy without asking you." Octavia mumbled, and opened her arms, allowing Clarke to sit next to her and Raven on the leather couch.

"Jesus Christ, Bellamy: what the hell happened to your face?" "Murphy was…" He looked towards Clarke, and she gave him a small nod. His nose was bruised, but the three boys had gotten much worse.

"... they were attacking Clarke, and we got in a fight."

"Jesus, are they alive? Are you okay, Clarke?" She nodded, taking Raven's hand with a shy expression. "I'm fine. Bellamy helped me out." He smiled at her, and gave her a small nod.

"They're fine, just unconscious. Just wake up with a headache." Bellamy growled, but he could focus on nothing but how they were touching her, running their fingers through her hair as she sobbed.

It was actually disgusting, and it was even worse that they were Finn's friends, because this would be setting her back a month in progress.

"Well, we're starting a new game, do you want to join?" Raven gestured to a game of solitaire, and Clarke nodded, taking a hand.

"Bellamy?"

"No, I see lunch in my crystal ball." Bellamy smirked, and saluted before heading towards the kitchen, his stomach hiding the tragedy that he felt for Clarke, and what anger he felt for Finn.

"So, Clarke… noticed you weren't sleeping on the couch yesterday." Raven smiled, but was careful with what she was suggesting. "Anything to tell us?"

"The lounge was cold last night, and I took Bellamy's couch." Clarke shrugged, placing a two of spades on Harper's ace. "Be careful with him, he's a teddy bear." Octavia warned, glancing towards her brother failing to make a sandwich. "Anyway, anything else happen?"

"I mean… it was the first time I didn't have one of my nightmares in a month and a half." Clarke thought aloud, and realized it was Bellamy. He made her feel safe, a luxury she was often acquitted with. "Aw, you two are so cute." Harper grinned, and looked in between the strong Bellamy and the broken Clarke. "

Whenever you are ready, you should tell him." "When I'm ready." Clarke agreed, and looked back to Bellamy. She was ready. She'd be ready tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day. "Tomorrow. I'm telling him tomorrow." "

Wow, congrats, 'princess.'" Octavia impersonated Bellamy's gruff voice, causing everyone to keel over in laughter, spilling the card game from the table to the floor. "Shit!" Raven laughed and wiped the remainder of the cards onto the floor, quickly grabbing a pillow. "

You're in for it now, Clarke!" She laughed, smacking Clarke with a pillow, prompting feathers to erupt from the teal pillow.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Octavia squealed, and soon, a whole war had erupted in the middle of the lounge. Bellamy soon found Clarke smiling, and joined in. "Princess, watch out!" Bellamy warned as a pillow smacked Clarke to the ground.

"You okay?" He asked a swarm of feathers swarmed around them. "Great." Clarke giggled, and smacked Bellamy with a pillow, knocking him beside her on the ground, their faces inches apart. "Hey there, cowboy." She smiled, and he rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Okay, I will admit, princess isn't great, but I am not going by fucking cowboy." Bellamy smiled, and tucked a piece of hair out of Clarke's face. And then, it happened. Someone pulled him over, and punched Bellamy square in the face, and no one seemed to notice until the attacker revealed his face. It was… it was Finn. Finn Collins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! leave a kudos and a comment, please! also, go follow me on Wattpad: @tommythetrainengine. more stories for bellarke and more on there!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an all out pillow war in the dorms, a familiar, horrifying face meets Clarke's, punching Bellamy. What will happen, and what will Bellamy do to protect his princess, and who will end up hurt?

Clarke screamed first, and instantly, everyone stopped laughing, and they all looked at her, and then at Finn. 

In all of the fear of him, Clarke had forgotten which dorm building he lived in, but now she instantly remembered. Seeing him again, it brought everything back, and she felt the anxiety build in her chest as they locked eyes. 

She was a deer in headlights, and for nearly a minute she was just frozen, staring at him. "Princess." He murmured, and began to move towards her, until Octavia grabbed him while Bellamy was still recovering on the ground, groaning. 

As Clarke ended her screaming, people began to rush to the lounge, along with Murphy. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"This is my dorm building." Finn grumbled as Miller held him down to the ground so he could not move. Bellamy regained himself, and moved in front of Clarke. "You're her fuckin' boyfriend now, huh?" Finn smiled, winking at Clarke. 

"Get the fuck out of here. Right now." Bellamy pointed towards the exit of the building, as Clarke stared at Finn behind him, paralyzed. Bellamy could feel her literally shivering behind him, and he spread his arms, blocking her. "Go. I'm letting you do this willingly."

"Finn, fucking leave." Octavia chimed in, but was careful to stay away from him. "Now." Octavia looked around, and realized Miller and Jasper had appeared. 

"It's my fuckin' dorm room, bitch." He was clearly drunk off his ass, and could. barely keep his eyes open.   
Bellamy had had enough, and decided to grab Finn by his collar, and pull him along to the exit, where below freezing temperatures were waiting. "Hey, hey, Bud. I need to tell ya something." 

Bellamy growled as Finn came close to him, meanwhile the girls circled around Clarke, but she was catatonic, and just kept staring at the spot Finn was sitting, as if he were still there. 

"She's never gonna… never gonna scream for you like she did for me." Finn smiled, and Bellamy felt something just snap inside of him. He slammed his fist into Finn's face and threw him into the snow with nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, hoping he would freeze.

"Bellamy, where is Finn?" Octavia muttered to him, as he made his way back to the couch, to Clarke. 

"He's outside." Bellamy growled, not giving it another thought. 

"I got them to clear out, but she's just… sitting there." Octavia mumbled, staring at Clarke with a worried expression. "I haven't seen her like this before, she was doing so good… she was so confident."

"She's strong, she'll get back to it. It's just not fair… every fucked thing after the last happens to her, and it's bullshit." 

"She's been asking for you. I'll leave you two alone. Tell me if she needs anything." Bellamy nodded and moved towards Clarke.

Her breathing was quick and uneven, and her eyes didn't even move when he sat next to her. "Hey." He murmured, scooting closer to her, but when she winced, he moved away again.   
"You are safe now, Clarke. I'm sorry, I should've seen him coming." Bellamy apologized, and carefully took Clarke's hand. He gently pulled her face towards him so that she was looking him in the eyes. 

"It's okay." Clarke spoke after around three minutes. Her voice was hoarse and dead, and broke Bellamy. "I'm fine." Clarke lied, before looking at him again, her movement slow. "I was doing so well, I was going to tell you how I felt tomorrow, and I was going to ask you, but… it's all ruined now." 

"Ask me what?" Bellamy asked, and got closer to Clarke, and this time, she didn't wince. 

"I was going to tell you how much I love you, Bellamy… but… it's all back now. All of the pain, the memories." Clarke cried, hiding her head in her chest. 

"Clarke, I love you, and will wait until the end of my life until you are ready. I will never hurt you, and you just need to take as much time as you need to be ready." Bellamy answered, and gave Clarke a small smile. "Do you want to talk about what you are thinking?"

"I have nightmares. Those pills you saw, that's about a fifth of what I need to take to just get… to get his face out of my head. I see him standing over me, and I hear Octavia screaming outside. I can't feel my body. All I can smell is his sweat, and my own blood and tears." 

Bellamy was silent, and was doing nothing but gently stroking Clarke's back. 

"I wish for someone to come save me, and then my mind finds you." Clarke looked up to Bellamy, and a tear rolled down her face. "All I see is you. And then I see him. And he hits me, and he scratches me, and he tears me apart. I've never shown you…"

"Showed me what?" Bellamy asked, his voice soothing to Clarke. All of the two years she had been struggling with her assault, she had been fantasizing him, making him some hero, and now he needed to be that. For her.

Clarke began to lift her shirt, and in any other situation, Bellamy would have grown red and ran, but he was silent when she revealed an array of scars lining her lower back. 

"I need you, Bellamy. And I am ready, because I need you right now, more than ever." Clarke muttered after lifting her shirt back up. 

"I need to make sure that you are okay with this." Bellamy retorted as Clarke faced him. 

"One hundred percent." She replied. "I need you to get better, Bellamy. I want to get better." She cried, and he gently wrapped his arms around brought her close, and after confirming twice this is what she wanted, they kissed.

A moment of passion, and of one boy trying to heal a broken, lost girl. They   
slowly pulled away, a small smile spreading across both of their lips. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." Clarke laughed at his attempt for comfort, and fell into his arms, dying from exhaustion. "I am here for you, Clarke. From now on, you aren't going to go through anything alone. I am here for you." 

"Thanks, Bellamy. For everything." Clarke muttered, and went back to looking at the spot Finn had been moving towards her, trying to grab her. "He's always here. Can you see him?" Clarke asked, looking towards the spot where Finn had been. "I think I've gone mad."

"You're not going mad, you have just been through more than anyone should ever see." Bellamy reassured her, and turned her head away. "It isn't real. I am here to protect you."

Clarke nodded, and looked back to the spot, and her face straightened slightly. "Okay… is it okay if I sleep in your room again? I don't want to be alone."

In any other scenario, Bellamy would be bouncing up and down about their kiss, but he wanted -needed- to protect Clarke. He needed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that I didn't post for a while! hope you enjoy! please leave a comment telling me if you like this/want me to do anything specific with the story, and leave a kudos, please! thank you!


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Bellamy and Clarke's kiss, the beautiful princess is nearly attacked by Finn and is rocketed into a near-catatonic state, can someone bring her back: more specifically, Bellamy?

She was ecstatic about her kiss with Bellamy, but seeing Finn with that same smirk had still sent her back to that night: in her nightmares. This time, it wasn’t Finn standing over her, his sweaty body eclipsing all light. It was Bellamy. 

It was the same night, the same party, the same room: but it was Bellamy. It was all Bellamy. She was still screaming and sobbing. He ran out when Octavia arrived, and Miller carried it out. It was all the same, except he had raped her. 

She awoke with a start, and with tears streaming down her face, gasping for air, she almost instantly awoke Bellamy, who was sleeping next to her on the couch. They had fallen asleep watching television. It took a moment for him to notice what was happening, but as soon as he did, he woke up with a start and reached for her: but she flinched. 

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” He asked, and turned on the lamp next to them. A blanket was thrown across their laps, and Clarke was curled in the corner of the couch, trying to stay away from Bellamy. “Clarke?”

She knew that if she told him what happened, he would try to hide it: but he would be upset. He would be hurt, and he would know that she was temporarily wary of him. “It… was Finn again, it just keeps replaying. That night. Miller carrying me, Octavia calling the cops… all of the stares I got when we headed downstairs… I remember Miller’s jacket on me, and I was crying on him. A lot.” Clarke laughed a little, remembering Miller washing his jacket at least four times, but he eventually just gave it to her. 

“It’s okay, you’re right here with me.” Clarke nodded and argued inside of herself. He’s probably going to end up being your fucking boyfriend soon, you need to tell him. No! It will hurt his feelings, keep it from him! How did that work the last time, Clarke? I need to tell him. No. Don’t make yourself a burden on him, too. 

“Yeah, I think I feel a little better… is it morning already?” Clarke asked, and Bellamy shook his head. “Oh… sorry for waking you up. If you want, I could just go back to the couch, I’ll probably end up having another night-terror, so-”

“No, Clarke: I’m not…” Bellamy scoffed, and put his arm around Clarke, turning the TV on with a small smile. “I’m not kicking you out. If you don’t want to go back to sleep, let’s get a cup of coffee and do an all-nighter.” Bellamy smiled, pressing a button on his coffee-machine, which made a small whirring noise. 

“You’re great.” She thought aloud, and cuddled closer to him, and built up enough courage to kiss him on the cheek, which reddened both of their faces. “Thanks for being such a… so tolerant, with all of my shit.” Clarke scoffed. “I know I’m damaged goods.”

“Clarke, stop. I’m not going to watch as you just put yourself down. Just stop. You are… you are beautiful, you are smart, brave, strong, and the girl I love.” Bellamy smiled and pulled her in for a kiss. At first, she wasn’t sure but seeing this side of him, the part that loved and cared for her, she kissed him, meeting his lips. 

“O-okay… I believe you.” Clarke stuttered, not being able to get the vision of Bellamy over her out of her head… What if he is the same? No… he’d be devastated if he heard me thinking like this. He isn’t Finn, he’s not going to hurt me. He won’t. He’s Bellamy. Not Finn. Not Finn. Not. Finn.

“Okay. Now… how do you like your coffee?”

\-------------------------

“Is she okay?” Raven asked as Bellamy exited his room, his jacket missing. “She had another one of her nightmares, right? Was it worse?” She asked, not even allowing him to speak. 

"Raven. She's fine." Bellamy assured her, closing the door behind him. "She's sleeping right now. So, sh."   
"  
'Kay. Also, Bellamy? Thanks… for looking after her. It's taken so much anxiety off of Octavia. They're similar. Too strong to admit when they're not." Raven thought aloud, and Bellamy thought to himself: Yeah, that sounds like O. 

"It isn't a chore. Clarke's special to me. I like taking care of her." Raven smiled, drinking a lazy sip from her coffee. Her mug had everyone's signatures in the building. Jasper's was the largest. 

"Well, breakfast is ready. Octavia… well, she tried." 

Raven smiled when Bellamy muttered a quiet: "Oh, Jesus." Surprisingly, the pancakes were not burnt and looked like flattened Mickey Mouse heads. Their mother used to cook them before… well before she gave up. They both did. 

"Good morning." Octavia groaned, her hair a mess and her makeup smeared. Her loose hoodie was slung over her shoulders with a sports bra underneath. Loose sweatshirts hung around her legs. 

"You look great." Bellamy smiled, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. "What?"

"You have that dumb smile on your face. The one you get when you talk about Clarke." Octavia smiled but shifted to a frown. "Is our girl doing okay?" 

Bellamy nodded and looked back to the door he had thrown Finn out of. "You don't think he's stupid enough to come back, right?"

"If he does, I'm going to put that knife you gave me to use. I am not joking. He didn't even get fucking arrested, and then he dares to try and go near her again. Not even apologize?" Octavia laughed, thinking of it as a sick joke. 

"She sees him. Like, hallucinations and shit." Bellamy whispered to Octavia, and wondered aloud: "Has she seen a doctor for this? I know she had pills for depression and anxiety… but… does she have a therapist or something?" He asked, and she sighed, shaking her head in shame.

"We're trying, but… she's not able to admit she needs it. It's her decision, but… I think being with you is helping right now." Octavia announced, and suddenly she looked at Bellamy, her eyes wide. 

"What are-"

"Holy shit, you kissed her!" Octavia cackled, wiping a dot of lipstick off of Bellamy's lips. He then self-consciously wiped his mouth until the skin hurt. "Bellamy! Are you serious?" 

"I made sure she said yes, I did everything to make sure she was okay with it. She kissed me again this morning." Bellamy sighed dreamily, ignoring Octavia's suggestive looks. 

"I think you're in love, big brother." Octavia grabbed at her heart and pretended to wipe away a tear. "Well, anyway. I made Mom's pancakes."

"I think Mickey Mouse has seen some shit over the years." Bellamy laughed as a demented cartoon stared up at him. 

"Still tasty. Take some more for Clarke." Bellamy took some and retreated to his room, where Clarke was still sleeping. He sighed and nodded, walking back towards the room. The anger of last night was still in his veins, but remembering Clarke kiss him again made his heart flutter, and he loved her even more. And he would respect that she needed time for anything, but he wanted to be there for her: nothing less, nothing more. 

“Clarke?” He asked, and saw her figure, draped over the couch sleeping. She looked peaceful, and with this new Clarke he had begun to know, that was rare for her: due to her past, and nightmares. He debated whether or not to wake her up, and concluded the fact that she needed whatever sleep she could get without Finn’s simulacra staring through her. 

“Sleeping?” Bellamy nodded to Octavia when he returned, and she replied with a look of gratitude. “You’re amazing, Bellamy. You have no idea how much you mean to her. Just that she knows she’s loved…”

“Yeah.” Bellamy nodded, looking back to his room, the room opened a crack just enough so that he could see Clarke’s sleeping face. He thought the world of her, and always thought to himself when she looked at her after their kiss: How the fuck does she think I’m good enough for her? 

“Anyway. Has the campus said anything about assessments? Or getting the other dorm buildings heat? Is Lincoln okay?” Bellamy asked, thinking back to the boy that Octavia had introduced to her. She too was wary of dating after Clarke, but Lincoln was so nice and was there for her when her car was stolen. She loved him, and he loved her. They both knew they would marry after college. 

“He’s fine, his building has heat thanks to him. Campus police and maintenance have yet to do anything about the situation.” She laughed, anger radiating off of her. “It’s bullshit, they’re useless.”

“I don’t think they like you much, O.”

“No, they hate me for calling them out. When I called one of the officers out for publicly supporting Finn, I was almost suspended for a week. They didn’t even fucking suspend him from Campus, saying it was ‘allegations.’” Octavia scoffed, thinking back to   
Clarke’s face when she had seen it on the school’s social media. The article showing a picture of her, the video Finn took of her when he’d done it. They didn’t even censor it. Clarke couldn’t afford a lawyer, and since she wasn’t a minor, she couldn’t get the article taken down for child pornography. 

“Yeah, well his pockets are bigger than anyone on campus, so it makes sense. Resident golden boy, how could he ever do anything?” Bellamy growled and breathed. He didn’t want to discuss this anymore. He wanted things to go back to normal, everything. Except for Clarke and his’ new relationship. He wanted that, and it seemed so did she. “So, did Monty and Harper get together?”

“Thanks to our resident matchmaker, yeah. Oh, tonight’s movie night in the theater room, so make sure you guys get a spot, considering you slept until three in the afternoon.” Bellamy’s eyes widened and he looked down at his watch. It was that late? He was glad Clarke had gotten the sleep, but he knew she would be mad that he didn't wake her. She had come into the doctor at the dorm in absence of campus doctors, so whenever someone hit their head or got a cut, she was there. Murphy cut his hand yesterday. Bellamy suspected it was on purpose.

"Yeah, I'll go wake her up."

"Make sure she has her medicine," Octavia whispered, watching as Bellamy slicked back into the corridor towards his room. 

The door across from his. Finn Collins. He never knew the boy, but now… knowing every time he returned a smile from the kid or shook his hand… it felt like he had betrayed her. Clarke. The only thing he seemed to think about now.

It almost seemed forgettable that they kissed, because how could someone like her love him?... he was still trying to figure it all out, but he was beyond glad they did. "Hey." 

He knocked on the door, opening it slightly. "Lazy, you up?" He smiled to see her watching a documentary on the small television in his room, a calm expression on her face, and an empty glass next to her. She had her medicine. 

"What time is it?" She yawned, braiding her hair into a messy and disheveled french braid. "Ten, eleven?"

"Three-thirty." He chuckled as her face imploded, and she scrambled to check her phone and see her was correct. "Calm down, Murphy's hand is healed. He's gonna get a nice scar, but he'll be fine. We're meeting up in the theater for family movie night?"

They both smiled small, and Clarke nodded, quickly dressing as Bellamy turned around. "All done." He returned to look at her, and sat next to her in the bed, looking at the television and bowl of popcorn Clarke had. He dug his hand in, shoveling popcorn in his mouth. “Geez, slow down there; you’ll choke, Bel.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” He smiled, and covered both of them with the warm blanket, making sure that Clarke was completely warm. They had around ten minutes before they had to leave for the theater room. 

“Bellamy?” He turned his head towards her, his comfortable smirk on his lips. 

“Yeah, Clarke?” He asked, turning towards the small girl in his arms. Her large sweatshirt draped over her body, and Bellamy noticed she had been wearing less concealing clothing progressively after a certain point last year. He knew now what it was. 

“Thank you. For being here, I mean. No one has ever really cared about me before, beside Octavia… it’s weird. But a good weird.” She smiled, burying herself in his chest. Being with him, it still hadn’t felt real. They hadn’t discussed it yet, they just displayed their trauma together.

“It won’t be like that again. I promise.” Bellamy swore, crossing his fingers across his heart. “I care about you. More than I can put into words. You don’t know how happy you make me, Clarke. Just having you within my eyesight makes me want to live forever. You won’t ever be alone again. You won’t be hurt again.” 

“Promise?” She whimpered, not caring how childish it sounded. He simply nodded and kissed her head. They laid there for around twenty minutes before Clarke mumbled: “We should get to the theater, cowboy.”

“Yeah. Let’s go. We’re watching The Princess Bride tonight. O-”

“And my favorite, yeah.” She smiled, the first real smile Bellamy had seen in a long time from her, besides after their kiss. “Cool.”

As they ventured into the hallway, Bellamy felt a cold spread across his shoulders, a warning: he would realize it later, his instincts were warning him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! please leave a comment, it really does make my day! thank you and stay safe!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke actually is starting to feel okay, and it's all thanks to Bellamy... will it go wrong, or for once, will she really be alright?

It was late, and Clarke had curled up in Bellamy’s arms in the theater room. There were currently two men dancing across the screen with swords, grunts, and words escaping their mouths, but all Bellamy could see was the girl balled up in his arms, the slightest hint of warm breath across his face. “Hey, do you wanna go to sleep now?” 

Clarke yawned, opening her eyes to look at him. The movie reflected through her eyes, and she nodded a little bit, letting Bellamy carry her and sneak out of the room with no one noticing somehow. “Bellamy, I can walk myself.” She giggled and noticed on the rhythmic beating of Bellamy’s heartbeat against her ear. “Damn, I didn’t realize how much sleep makes you sleepy.”

“Are you high?” Bellamy chuckled, and she elbowed him in the stomach, a small smile on her lips. It was still rare to see Clarke smile now, and it always brought warmth to Bellamy’s heart. “Sorry, sorry. Hey, so Octavia helped me get the pool’s heaters back up…”

“I don’t know how to swim.” She murmured, exhaustion riddled in her tiny voice. Bellamy frowned and suddenly felt his face grow red. He always forgot about how horrid and haunting her childhood was. One day he had googled the orphanage Clarke had stayed at for near decades, and his stomach dropped. He saw dirty mattresses thrown onto the frames of bunk beds with a single sheet as a blanket and a ratty stuffed-animal servicing for a pillow. Meanwhile, Octavia and Bellamy had grown in a house the size of a mansion with a pool and a two-acre lawn… it wasn’t fair. 

“Well, I can teach you… whaddya say, midnight swim?” Bellamy smirked. As they made it to his dorm, she sighed and nodded, tying her hair back. Bellamy grinned, opening the door so Clarke could get her clothes. 

“Oh, I don’t… do you think Octavia would mind if I borrowed one of her suits?” Bellamy shrugged, watching Clarke slip out of the room and towards Octavia’s. Bellamy shed his own clothes, quickly dressing in one of his many bathing-shorts. He decided not to wear a shirt, impatient to see Clarke’s face spread red. 

After around a minute, she knocked on the door, and Bellamy opened it, and both of their faces morphed into a dark shade of red. “W-wow, Clarke. You look… you look- you’re very pretty.” Clarke smiled like he’d given her a million bucks, and slowly walked towards him, kissing his cheek. 

“Thanks… okay, let’s go.” Clarke smiled, taking Bellamy’s freehand -the other was carrying two towels- as they jogged down the hallways, Clarke’s exhaustion suddenly gone.  _ I’ve never gone swimming before… I’ve heard it’s like going to space.  _ “So, I’m assuming you won’t let me drown, Blake?”

“Not gonna happen, princess.” Bellamy smiled, squeezing her hand tightly before opening the pool’s doors to reveal a lit up paradise that smelled like every good thing in the earth. She could smell Bellamy beside her, his foresty scent clouding her senses, but in a good way. 

“I’ll hold you to- Jesus, that’s warm.” Clarke smiled, dipping her left leg into the water, and rejoicing when she felt its warmth run up her skin. “Okay, so I know how to doggy paddle from this time I almost drowned when I was a kid, but other than that…”

“Well, lucky for you, I was a beach lifeguard at seventeen. Looks like I’ve been rehired.” Bellamy slinked into the water, not even flinching at the sudden heat spreading across his body like bliss. He suddenly realized he hadn’t showered in two days while he was with Clarke. He wanted to be with her at all times, to make sure she felt safe with him and in general. He didn’t regret a second of it. 

“Looks like it. Okay, I can stand here… right?” Bellamy nodded, seeing the nervous look on her face. He squeezed her hands and forced her to look in his chocolate eyes. 

“It’s fine, Clarke. I’m right here, and you can stand. I’m going to be the best teacher you’ve ever had.” Clarke winced as Bellamy splashed her, and she gasped, her body soon joining him in the water. 

“You did  _ not  _ just do that, Blake.” She laughed, and splashed him back, quickly flattening his dark curls. 

“You’ve started a war you can’t win, princess.”  
“Are you sure about that?” Clarke asked, sending a tidal wave of water to his face, not realizing she was stepping deeper and deeper, and neither did Bellamy. Bellamy was soaked, and Clarke danced through the water gracefully like a ballerina, savoring every second of warmth. “I’ve never really gone swimming.” Clarke laughed, not seeing she was a step from the twelve-foot section of the pool. “I was always so sc-”  
Clarke was cut off as she stepped back, sinking into the deep section. She immediately panicked, and gasped for air, punching at the water as she floated farther out. It felt like she couldn’t breathe for a second, and she felt two strong arms wrap around her, her eyes rapidly moving between places searching for ground. As soon as she could stand, she raced out of the pool, only allowing her legs to fall in as she sat on the side, watching… _Bellamy saved me. God, how could I ever think he’d… I’m a monster._

“Are you okay, Clarke?! You’re okay, you’re out now.” He assured her as her chest rapidly rose and fell. After a minute, she met his eyes, fear riddled in the dark brown spheres. “Clarke?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. I was just being stupid. I should’ve been more careful of the edge.” Clarke breathed, running her hands through Bellamy’s curls as he approached. “Thanks for saving me.”  
“I think you’re giving me a little more credit than deserved.” Bellamy smiled, quoting himself from when he’d first saved her from the cold weeks ago. She scoffed and he pulled himself onto the brick ground beside her, allowing Clarke to rest on his shoulder, both of them shivering. “We can go back if you’d like. Try again tomorrow?”

“N-no, I want to do it. I want to do it now. I’m not running away again.” They slowly slipped back into the water, Clarke smiling small as the warmth comforted her once again, but nothing could make her feel as safe as Bellamy’s smirk. She could hear it from miles away. “Okay… teach me.”

“Aye-aye, princess.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! please leave a kudos, and a side note: with season seven and everything coming out, I've inspected every single piece of promo we got frame by frame, and all my stuff is in the 100 discord. it's just called the 100 fandom if anyone wants to see the theories I have, and I'm actually confident in most of them. thanks for reading! sorry for the short chapter.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a dream... Clarke can't actually be happy... can she?

“Just hold your breath and lay like you would on a bed.” Bellamy helped Clarke slowly move back to the twelve-foot section. She could now swim, so the fear that had earlier appeared dissolved, and she breathed, closing her eyes. “There, now pretend you’re a starfish.”  
“A starfish, really?” Clarke laughed, her smile spreading more warmth across Bellamy’s face than the pool heaters ever could. 

“Yes, a starfish… yeah, just like that.” Soon enough Clarke was floating across the pool, her chest slowly rising and falling. Her eyes were closed, and all she could do was imagine the stars as her father had shown her so many years ago. 

Bellamy watched, trying to silently tread beside her, inspecting every emotion on her face, every stray hair floating behind her like a river rooting from her head with such beauty. He wanted to say something, to tell her how much he loved her, but something about her made him speechless. 

“I can feel you watching me, Bellamy.” Clarke smiled, not opening her eyes. “I know, I’m beautiful.” Bellamy laughed, and soon was floating beside her, their hands joined together. All they felt was each other’s touch and the water below them. “It feels like we’re in space… if you close your eyes, it feels like you’re soaring through the stars. It’s beautiful.”  
“Yeah… it is.” Bellamy smiled, turning his head slightly to see Clarke looking back at him. They both laughed slightly and stared into each other’s eyes for a moment. They stayed there, trying to find the secrets in each other. Eventually, Clarke swam over to Bellamy, pulling him towards her. “Hey.”

She laughed, and before they both knew it, he closed the distance between them, kissing her once again. It was like all his life he was a song missing a final lyric, but now he found it… Clarke was his last puzzle piece. “Thank you, Bellamy.”  
“For what, Clarke?” 

“For being you. Being here for me… you’re like my knight in shining armor now.” 

“Well, every princess needs a knight.” Clarke splashed him again, and it felt like time was slowly turning slower and slower as they stared into each other’s eyes. “Clarke?”

“Yeah, Bellamy?” He stayed silent for a moment, looking down at his feet moving back and forth in the clean water. “Bellamy, what is it?” 

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He felt his face redden, and he could see the smallest smirk on Clarke’s face.  _ Fuck, maybe this is too soon… did I fuck this up? God, you’re a- _

“Yes.” Bellamy shot his head up, suddenly unable to hide his grin that seemed to spread from ear to ear. “Yes, yes!” Clarke giggled, wrapping her arms around Bellamy so tight she was convinced he’d suffocate in ten seconds. 

He hugged her back, his muscles flexing against her own skin. He was happy, but more importantly:  _ she was happy.  _ And that made him was to jump up and down until he couldn’t move anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for such a short chapter, but come on! back to back updates! I'm on fire right now! thanks so much for reading, please, please, please leave comments telling me if you liked this because, to be honest, it's the closest thing to anti-depressants I have! thanks so much for reading!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy are officially dating, and what do they get as their first memory?... find out. 
> 
> sorry I suck at summaries

"Are you cold?" Clarke nodded her head as they walked back to his room, and he layered her towel with his own and massaged her with the fabric. "What?" He asked as he saw his own smirk on his… his  _ girlfriend's  _ face. 

"I think you're just trying to find a way to take your shirt off at all times, Blake." Clarke giggled even harder when Bellamy flexed his muscles but was cut off as Bellamy stepped closer towards his door, the knob opening, revealing his room. 

"Do you have any-" Bellamy's voice was cut off as he saw Clarke's horrified face, and she let out a scream. "Clarke?!" She pointed into his room, and on Bellamy's own bed was  _ Finn _ . Clarke was paralyzed, and Bellamy instantly stood in front Clarke, shielding her from even seeing the pig on his bed. "What the hell are you doing here? How did you get in?!" Bellamy demanded, not moving an inch. 

_ I'm such an idiot… I'm so dumb. How could I think I could be happy? How could I let my guard down?!  _ Clarke pulled Bellamy's towel tighter around her and felt a pit grow in her stomach. 

"You left the door open, genius, thought I'd let myself in." Bellamy realized he had Clarke's empty sweatshirt next to him on the bed, along with her suitcase.  _ Oh, God. What a fucking creep.  _ "Hey, Clarke."

"Don't speak to her," Bellamy growled and made the mistake of leaving Clarke to drag Finn off of his bed, not caring as his nails dug into the boy's arm. "Get out, before I call the rest of the guys." 

Suddenly, Clarke screamed, and when Bellamy turned around, he saw Murphy picking her up by her waist, hoisting him on top of each other so their hips ground atop each other. " _ Murphy _ !  _ Murphy, stop _ !" 

"Let her-" A fist met Bellamy's face and he fell to the ground, his head meeting the hardwood. "You son of a bitch!" Bellamy roared at Finn, getting back up in seconds and charging Finn. That's when he felt it. 

A shaking numbness fell through him as he heard Clarke's muffled wails behind him.  _ I can't move… I can't move, that son of a bitch, I can't get to Clarke! _

"Bellamy, Bel! What did you do, what did you do to him?!" Clarke cried, running to Bellamy after Murphy loosened his grip for a second. She flipped him so he was facing her sobbing face. "Bellamy, Bellamy. Are you okay?!" 

Before Bellamy could even bat an eye -desperate to comfort her- Finn grabbed her, and his fists met her perfect skin. Clarke slumped beside Bellamy, and every cell in Bellamy's body was screaming, trying to trade her pain and give it to him. 

_ Clarke, Clarke, I'm right here! I'm right here, I'll always be here!... I promised her I'd keep her face. How did no one hear her screams?  _ Finn and Murphy took Clarke, grabbing her by her limbs. Bellamy could feel movement in his fingers, but he couldn’t get up… he couldn’t protect her. 

_ “Thank you, Bellamy.” _

_ “For what, Clarke?”  _

_ “For being you. Being here for me… you’re like my knight in shining armor now.”  _

_ “Well, every princess needs a knight… I’m never going to let anything happen to you, Clarke. You’re safe with me.”  _

He wasn’t going to be able to protect her, no matter what he did, he failed her. His muffled screams were blocked by his own lips, and he saw Clarke’s unconscious body for the last time before Finn came back and suddenly Bellamy’s jaw was sprawling in pain, and just like that it’s over: the blackness takes him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger and the short chapter. having internet problems right now, so if I don't upload, don't assume I have met death.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He kidnapped them: Finn kidnapped them... what are they going to do when Bellamy can't even move and Clarke's all but catatonic?!

“Clarke!” He awoke at once, struggling against his binds. He heard muffled crying, and at first, he thought he was dreaming… and then he remembered. “Clarke, Clarke.” A figure was laid in front of him. The ground was layered with a fuzzy carpet and above him were two lights. The switch was on, but they weren’t powering… We’re not in the dorm building anymore… this is Clarke’s room. He’s had her key. Bellamy felt his blood run cold as he recognized the figure on the bed in front of him was Clarke, still unconscious with another bruise on her right cheek. “Clarke, wake up!”

Miraculously, she raised her head and met Bellamy’s eyes. “B-Bellamy? Where are we?...” Ropes bound her against the bed and when she saw the fabric beneath her, she froze. “What… I can’t remember, what…” A look of realization dawned across her face and she instantly began struggling against the bounds, her own wrists beginning to bleed.

“Clarke, stop. Stop. I think if I get my wrist out, I can get us out, I have my pocket knife in my pocket.” Finn seemed to have left because Bellamy couldn’t hear anything else in the dorm. There were the sounds of someone outside the room, but Clarke’s dorm only was one room, so it was likely someone passing in the hallway. “Just stay quiet, we don’t want anyone coming back if they think we’re awake.”

She was shaking, and wouldn’t stop fighting against the ropes, scarlet liquid dripping down her plush, white skin. “Clarke, Clarke. P-please stop.” Bellamy begged, already nearly out of his left bind. Rope-burns scratched against his skin, and suddenly: he was out.

“Okay, I’m out, just… hold on, we’re getting out of here.” 

“O-okay.” Clarke nodded, tear streams running down her face as she started to cease her fighting, understanding it was making noise. Bellamy was free, and he was making his way towards Clarke. Has he been living in her apartment? What a perverted creep. “My arms…” She rolled her hand around once it was free, and soon enough, she was free as well. Her eyes were filled with dark circles underneath them, and all she wore was her wet bathing suit.

“Okay… we can get out the window.”

“Y-yeah, there’s a coffee-shop not far from here. I think… I think I must have some clothes.” Clarke stammered, trying to be quiet. Tears still rolled down her cheeks, and as she handed Bellamy a pair of clothes, she took the warmest clothes she could see: a sweatshirt and leggings a size too small. “Urm, can you?...”

“Yeah.” Bellamy turned around, and she did the same. They started dressing, the only sound being Clarke’s small sniffles and cries. “We’re getting out of here, Clarke. We’re going to be back home in hours, and we can watch TV, and I’ll make you cookies.”

“Oh, Jesus… that’ll be fun to see.” Clarke laughed for a second, but it was gone as soon as he heard it. “Okay, done. My windows don’t have locks, but we’re two floors up right now.”  


“Well… there’s fresh powder down there, right?” Bellamy asked, sounding more hopeful than he was. God, should we pull a Shakesphere and just make a rope out of the she-

“W-we could climb down those pipes...” Her voice was broken, and she could barely look at him in her single bathing suit. He just realized a barely bandaged cut on the near-inside of her leg. 

“Hey, it’s okay. That isn’t going to happen. Here, we can just use the water pipes running down the walls to slide down, those will work.” As Bellamy made sure the metal, frost-covered pipes were sturdy, Clarke paced the floor, jumping at every moan of the woodwork. “It’s okay, come on. Let’s go.”

“Okay, you… you go first, Bellamy.” With hesitation, Bellamy climbed out of the window, freezing wind whipping against every inch of his body. He slid down the freezing pipe and soon looked up to the window. Clarke was climbing down when she heard the door of her own room open. It was Finn. 

“I hope- you’re free. Where’s your little bitch boyfriend?” Finn asked, quickly speeding towards Clarke, who was frozen. “Well, are you going to speak or be a good girl, spare me the trouble, and get on the bed? Maybe we can get your little boyfriend to come up and watch? Join in?”

“N-no, you get… get away from me! Right now, before I do something only you will regret!” Clarke screamed, freezing Bellamy even more than possible, who was trying to climb back up the frozen pipes but was quickly proven useless. “You ruined my life, made me feel like shit! You’re just some little rich kid who was tired of using his right hand! You’re chickenshit, Finn, and don’t deserve my anger, so get out of my way!”

“Oh, you’re suddenly so strong? I heard you crying, Clarke! You’re weak, just a little bitch! Now get on the bed!” Finn threw his fist across Clarke’s face, sending her sprawling to the floor. He began to pull her up, her bloodied face suddenly less brave. She was so tired of being the victim, of having to wake up and not want to live anymore, and it… it wasn’t even her fault!

Finn threw her onto the bed, quickly closing the window, not noticing Bellamy’s screams from the snow-dazed ground. He was dotted with white and his eyes were furious when he saw Finn shut the window. Fuck, fuck, fuck: think of something, dumbass! DO SOMETHING! 

“I SAID LET ME GO!” Clarke screeched and grabbed a blade beside her, it was Bellamy’s. The one he’d used to get them out moments before. The two adolescents fought for dominance, and as Clarke’s shirt was nearly off of her, Finn’s eyes widened, and his mouth shaped into an ‘o’. “F-Finn… Finn, Finn!” He fell to the ground, a bloody blotch on his stomach. “Finn, Finn! Wake up, Finn!” She sobbed, shaking Finn’s bloody body. 

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my… fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Finn, get the hell up!” Suddenly, footsteps were heard outside of the open door, and Clarke looked up to see Bellamy. “Bellamy, I… he was attacking me, and your knife was there, and there was blood, and oh, my god! I’m a murderer!” Clarke sobbed as Bellamy entered the room, closing the door behind him. He shut Finn’s eyes and dragged the body away behind the bed so Clarke didn’t see it. “I killed a man, I’m a killer. I’m a monster.”

Bellamy took Clarke’s hand and forced her to look in his eyes. “No, Clarke, you… you were defending yourself, he didn’t give you a choice.” Bellamy took her against him, hiding her in his arms. "I found a phone downstairs… O's on her way."

Clarke didn't even respond, she just nodded and looked back towards Finn. A pit fell in her stomach, and it seemed she was fighting against her own grief. He was her rapist, she shouldn't be feeling sorry. I'm a whore for feeling this way, aren't I? I'm a murderer. A monster. "I'm a monster."

"No, he was a monster. You were innocent. You did nothing wrong." He nearly sounded convincing, but she knew better. She'd killed a man in cold blood, that's what she knew. 

They laid there, Bellamy shielding her eyes from Finn's limp feet sticking out from the end of the bed. Bellamy's hair was dusted with snow, and as a door opened downstairs, Clarke shivered but didn't even look up. "Hello? Bellamy, Clarke?!" It was Miller.

Octavia must have taken him. He was glad, but he knew Clarke wouldn't be. She'd be mortified from this. "Bel-"

"Miller." Bellamy croaked. The room was so silent it was jeering, and Miller looked to the corpse lying a few feet from Clarke. "It… he was hurting Clarke. She had no choice."

"We need to report this, call the cops. You're not going to be charged." Miller tried to comfort Clarke, but it clearly hadn't done much. She was shivering and as more footsteps trailed up the staircase, she saw Octavia. 

"Octavia." She whispered, running towards Octavia and not stopping until she could smell every sense of her perfume. Octavia shared a horrified look with Bellamy as Clarke wept in her chest, her eyes asking her brother what had happened. He shook his head, not even looking up. "It wasn't, he didn't give me a choice, he was trying to-"

"Sh, sh. It's okay, Clarke. I'm right here." Octavia rubbed her friends back, feeling how cold it was. "You both have gotta be freezing, here take my coat." Clarke zipped Octavia's jacket until it couldn't go any longer, and looked into her friend's eyes. "Come on, I've got my truck, we don't need to stick around for the campus police."

"Bellamy and I should stay, we'll get a ride back from them." Octavia nodded and took Clarke downstairs, not giving them a second glance. 

"We're going to get back with the girls, and we'll make hot cocoa and watch Disney all day. Does that sound okay, babe?" Octavia asked, and breathed when she felt Clarke nod against her. Clarke wanted to just go back to normal, to where all she cared about was Bellamy asking her to be his girlfriend, to what a girl her age should worry about. 

"Yeah," Clarke whispered. “I want to go home.” She squeaked, hiding in Octavia’s arms when they sprinted through the snow, freezing wind whipping from every direction. When they got in the truck, Clarke returned to her catatonic state. As Octavia drove, she looked from the barely visible road to her friend, hugging her knees in the back seat. I could’ve stopped this… I heard a scream, I thought it was just her nightmares… this is my fault… isn’t it? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading everyone! there'll be an update soon!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's destroyed, Finn's dead and no one's sure how to comfort the broken girl... can Bellamy?

"We need to report this, call the cops. You're not going to be charged." Miller tried to comfort Clarke, but it clearly hadn't done much. She was shivering and as more footsteps trailed up the staircase, she saw Octavia. 

"Octavia." She whispered, running towards Octavia and not stopping until she could smell every sense of her perfume. Octavia shared a horrified look with Bellamy as Clarke wept in her chest, her eyes asking her brother what had happened. He shook his head, not even looking up. "It wasn't, he didn't give me a choice, he was trying to-"

"Sh, sh. It's okay, Clarke. I'm right here." Octavia rubbed her friends back, feeling how cold it was. "You both have gotta be freezing, here take my coat." Clarke zipped Octavia's jacket until it couldn't go any longer, and looked into her friend's eyes. "Come on, I've got my truck, we don't need to stick around for the campus police."

"Bellamy and I should stay, we'll get a ride back from them." Octavia nodded and took Clarke downstairs, not giving them a second glance. 

"We're going to get back with the girls, and we'll make hot cocoa and watch Disney all day. Does that sound okay, babe?" Octavia asked, and breathed when she felt Clarke nod against her. Clarke wanted to just go back to normal, to where all she cared about was Bellamy asking her to be his girlfriend, to what a girl her age  _ should  _ worry about. 

"Yeah," Clarke whispered. “I want to go home.” She squeaked, hiding in Octavia’s arms when they sprinted through the snow, freezing wind whipping from every direction. When they got in the truck, Clarke returned to her catatonic state. As Octavia drove, she looked from the barely visible road to her friend, hugging her knees in the back seat.  _ I could’ve stopped this… I heard a scream, I thought it was just her nightmares… this is my fault… isn’t it?  _

It was completely silent on the way home and as the suddenly frightening dorm building approached Clarke’s vision, she felt a small flutter of hope, but it disappeared rather quickly. There was blood beneath her fingernails and she suddenly felt dirty and wanted to scrub every square inch of her with soap and water until her skin was raw. "Okay, babe, come on. It's going to be a bit cold." Octavia warned, first escaping her side of the vehicle then moving to Clarke's.

As they trudged back into the building quickly, it was dead silent.  _ Dead silent… funny words. _ Clarke thought to herself as Octavia rushed ahead to push the doors of the dorm building, only to find them frozen shut. "Shit, it's frozen… wait, wait." She spoke to herself in soft whispers as she pulled the bag resting on her shoulders to her hands, removing a lighter and small bottle of hairspray. 

_ Classic Octavia Blake. _ Clarke thought for a second, but then her eyes returned to his cold stare… his stoic,  _ dead  _ stare. Abruptly ending her thoughts, a  _ fwoosh  _ bled through the air, and in one second, Octavia had constructed her own flamethrower. 

"Okay, come on in, babe. I'll make you some soup and tea, you just go to your… um, Bellamy's room." Clarke nodded before Octavia could even finish. The rest of their friends were huddled in a tight circle on the couch, speaking in whispers. It seemed they were about to rush over, but stopped when Octavia cleared her throat, her expression daring them to move. 

“O?” Harper called. When Octavia got Bellamy’s call, she left without even explaining, Miller by her side. Everyone was confused and  _ worried _ . They were worried that Miller and Bellamy didn’t come back with the girls. “What happened to Clarke?” 

“Where’s Miller and your brother?”  
Octavia moved towards her friend group, wiping a tear from her eye as she sat on the couch, rubbing the spot Clarke had once slept. “Bellamy and Clarke were…” Octavia cleared her throat as her eyes were weighed down with exhaustion. “... were kidnapped by Murphy and Finn.”  
Gasps spread across the group as the members looked at each other, unsure of what to say. “Are they okay? Where’s Finn, was he arrested? Where’s Bellamy?”

“Bellamy and Miller are with Finn… he’s, uh, Finn’s dead. Clarke killed him when he was trying to…” Octavia stopped talking and looked up to see her friends all sharing the same wide-eyed glance, unsure whether to run to Clarke, to see if she was okay, or to just cry. 

“Oh my God…” Harper breathed, clasping her palm over her mouth in shock. Harper hugged Raven, whose eyes were glazed over with a dryness that she couldn’t relinquish. Raven had dated Finn for two years until she dumped him after finding him with Clarke, who had no idea over the situation. The two made up and became the best of friends, their relationship closer than ever. Neither of them mourned Finn one bit. 

“Good riddance,” Raven whispered, squeezing Harper in her arms. Silence fell over the room as the snow howled outside, not forgiving of the two boys currently traveling through the roads after a meetup with the police. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is anyone else DYING FROM EXCITEMENT FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE?! I've actually made a shit ton of theories on the official 100 community discord, so this is the link to join if you want to read all of my theories! I always enjoy reading your comments, guys, have a good night! also, sorry for such a short chapter, internet problems!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when Clarke is literally broken and only Bellamy can bring her back?

“ _ Raven. _ ” Octavia hissed, hitting her friend’s shoulder. “So… who’s going to talk to her?”

“It’s best to leave her alone when she’s like this.” The group turned around to see Bellamy and Murphy, both of them clearly being weighed down from exhaustion and anger. Bellamy’s normally perfect curls were dead and limp, while Miller’s eyes looked as dead as Finn. “They’re not charging her… Finn’s dad wants to sue. We can get a good lawyer for Clarke.” 

“Where is she?” Miller asked, his voice quiet. He’d known Clarke to inspect all conversations that included her, so for all they knew, she was hearing every word. “Octavia, maybe-”

“Bellamy should go. She was asking for him.” The two siblings’ eyes connected. Bellamy nodded, his exhausted body shifting towards his room, knowing Clarke would be hiding under the covers, shivering with every breath. He still felt rage building through his body, but it wasn’t as Finn… he was mad at himself.  _ If she went out first… this is all my fault, isn’t it? Oh my God, it is… I’m such a terrible person. How will Clarke love me after this?  _

He knocked gently. There was no response, and when he opened the door, he found a chilling sight of Clarke, frighteningly still on Bellamy’s bed. Her golden hair was arrayed across the sheets and her clothing had been subdued to large sweatpants and a sweatshirt. “Clarke?” 

“It’s Bellamy…” He wasn’t even sure where to start.  _ How do you do this? Why’d Octavia send  _ me  _ in?  _ “Do you want me to sit with you?”

He saw Clarke nod, and he sat down, taking her in his arms. “I… I promised you you wouldn’t get hurt again. And you did… because of me.” She looked up at him, still not even much as saying a whisper. Two bruises littered her skin, one on her right arm and one on her left eye. She looked weak. It was horrible to see Clarke like this, especially when she seemed so… so invulnerable usually. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” She rasped in his arms, not looking up at him. How could she? She’d been humiliated… she  _ killed  _ a man in front of him. 

“I hope you know I don’t see you any different, Clarke. You’re so strong, Clarke. So tough. So beautiful…” He whispered in her ear, holding her closer where for a second, he saw the reflection of himself through her wet eyes. He hated she had to go through this… it wasn’t fair. 

“When I met you, I had… I had no idea who you were, but I knew I loved you. I love you, Clarke. People like us… the things we, you, went through: it isn’t fair. But, we’re not going to let it get in our way. We’re going to get through it together, for good now, we’ll always be together, if you’ll allow me.”  
She stayed silent in his arms, tears spilling down her cheeks. His fingers stroked her hair as she inspected every part of him as if he’d vanish in seconds. “ _Okay._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! I think the next two chapters will be the last, and I want to take a minute for all of the sweeties commenting on this post and giving me kudos. You have no idea how much it means to me, and I love all of you so much. I hope you enjoyed it! sorry for such a short chapter.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy finally thinks Clarke can rest easy, but he's wrong.

It had been a week since Finn’s murder… not death. Murder. She’d murdered him. Clarke had been hiding in her -Bellamy’s- bed all week, only leaving to use the bathroom twice a day. She did nothing but sleep and watch TV with Bellamy when he had the chance. 

“The blizzard has been suspected to have started passing. This storm broke records of the eastern coast earlier today, snowing in many. Back to you, Jordan." The TV didn't do much to quiet the storm outside and inside of Clarke but she tried her best to listen to it. 

"Recent news on a local college in Arkadia Bay: young sophomore murdered by another student." Clarke's head shot up, suddenly watching the blonde reporter who seemed to be smiling. 

"Oh my God, has the student been charged?" A man reporter asked, his hand clasped over his mouth. These people thought she was a monster. 

"No. The boy who was killed was the murderer's rapist. He allegedly kidnapped the murderer and one other student, taking them off the campus." Murderer… that's the word they kept using. She was a murderer. 

"Are the students alright? The young woman?"

"They both retired to their dorms, spending time inside while the college still feels from the storm." As she heard a jingle greet her ears, she saw Finn's eyes glaze over the screen next to one of her own and Bellamy's. 

Suddenly, the door broke open and in came Bellamy, the glorious smell of food drifting from two plates in his hands. "Hey, Clarke. I made us some food. Well, Raven helped, but…" Bellamy droned off as his eyes landed on the television. 

Bellamy quickly placed the two plates on the couch and moved to get the remote, shutting the screen to black until the only thing visible was Clarke's haunted reflection. "They called me a murderer, Bellamy."

"Clarke. Look at me." She pulled away for a second, but she felt his fingers on her cheek, pulling his eyes towards her. "You did what you had to do. You saved your life. You saved my life."

"I took a  _ life _ , Bellamy. That doesn't go away overnight." She whispered, pulling away from him. A loose hoodie covered her with nothing else,candy she had buried herself in blankets. In the large window wall behind Bellamy's bed, snow barrelled down.  _ Doesn't look like the storm's slowing down.  _

"It never will, Clarke. I just want you to know no one thinks of you differently."

"Those reporters do. The campus does… they want me gone next year. Got it in my school email this morning. I'm going to Weather University next year, Bellamy. It's the only thing I can afford right now." 

_ No… this- they're not serious? That place is as safe as an NYC school.  _ "W-what?"

"The school is expelling me." She muttered, retreating back into Bellamy's sheets. "Don't tell Octavia. I don't want to worry when-"

"When you go to some place all the way in Virginia?" Bellamy asked, taking Clarke's phone from him. The screen was already open to the email. 

_ Dear Ms. Griffin, We are sorry to inform you of your unfortunate yet permanent leave at winter's end. Due to the current controversy circling your attendance at our school, the board of education has found your leave an acceptable loss. We are sorry for the inconvenience.  _

"This is bullshit. You can sue them for this, we can fight this. Clarke, I'm not letting you go. I want you here. Safe with me."

"And you think they would welcome me back? It's useless. I can't fight it." She whispered, her voice muffled in the warmth of the pillow. 

"We can. I can pay for you. They'll accept you back for money." Clarke's head snapped up and she shook her head, her humility getting the best of her. 

"Bellamy.  _ No."  _ Her voice was stern and her look was steel. Time dripped away like molasses as Clarke's pained breathing filled the air. She still had injuries supplied by Finn. 

"Clarke. I'm not shipping you to somewhere three hours away, I… I don't want to lose you." His voice broke and she looked up to see tears pooling in his eyes. She always loved how he didn't care about hiding his emotions, especially his anger. "Please, Clarke."

"Hey, hey. You're not losing me. After we graduate… we can get some white picket fences and settle down… if you're okay with it."

"That doesn't sound like Clarke Griffin. No life of adventure?" 

"You are an adventure, Blake." She whispered, hiding in his arms. Tears had dissipated in his eyes, but she didn't look up to see his smirk.  _ Money really can buy happiness.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you everyone for reading! because of the ending, I think we might have some more chapters coming! sorry for not posting for a week!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is getting better, until...

“I’m not letting you do this, Bellamy.” Clarke shook her head, rushing out of his room as soon as he brought it up. Her expression already showed everything that needed to be said, but Bellamy was nothing if not persistent… and charming. “No way,  _ no. _ ”

“Clarke, all my life, my parents have used their money for bad things, let me do this. I want to help you.”

“And I don’t want to be indebted to you like this. I said no, this is the end of this conversation, Bellamy.” She decreed, walking away from him. He rolled his eyes, running ahead of her. 

“Clarke, you’re more stubborn than me. Please, just let me do this for you.”  
“I don’t want you pitying me, Bellamy.” Clarke shook her head, running into the main lobby and shutting the door behind her. _Stubborn princess._

She ignored the news briefings about her and how her school had betrayed her. No one seemed to care what she felt, what she thought… besides Bellamy. She loved him… she didn’t know why, but she did. At first, Clarke thought she wasn’t ready, but it had been a month. With the help of everyone at the dorm, she felt much better.

“Hey, C.” Miller greeted, noticing Clarke’s tired expression. “Boy troubles?” He smirked, receiving a playful smack on the head. 

“Shut up… what about you, are Jackson and you good?” Miller nodded, kneading dough on the kitchen counter as Clarke got the supplies to make cookies.

“We’re all sick of being trapped in this stupid storm… wasn’t it supposed to end last month? I thought it was over.”

“It will be eventually, just gotta hold on a little longer. We’ll get out.” Clarke smiled, brushing her hair back with her nails as she plunged her hands into the dough, stealing it from Miller.

“You’re such an optimist now?”

“Bellamy Blake will have that effect on you, I guess.” She smiled, thinking of how the previous night Bellamy had drawn her to sleep, humming a greek hymn to her he’d used for Octavia when she was young as well. 

“So, when are you packing for D.C?” Miller asked, following Clarke as she mixed ingredients into the bowl, making it start to actually resemble dough. 

“As soon as the storm clears, I’m out of here. Got all my stuff packed already.”  
“... does Bellamy know you’re leaving so soon?” Miller asked, but her stoic face was an answer enough. “Clarke…”

“He wouldn’t let me go if I told him. I don’t want him to be hurt.”

“Then leaving without saying goodbye isn’t a good idea, Clarke. If you don’t tell him… I will.” He whispered, a frown on his face. He wasn’t going to let her hurt Bellamy like this. 

“... fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for all of the support! I'll be updating soon, sorry this was a bit on the short end


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Clarke's birthday... will anyone remember?

_ It’s my birthday today… I wonder if anyone will remember. I hope not. I don’t like having that much attention. Maybe Octavia and the girls will watch a movie, but… I just want to stay here… with  _ him _.  _

“You were going to leave without saying goodbye?” He caught her off-guard. One minute, they were in Bellamy’s bed, their feet tangled above the covers and with a throw blanket over them while the belting notes of a Disney princess sounded through the screen. 

“W-what?”  
“Miller told me, Clarke.” He croaked. God, he sounded so hurt she thought she would die right there. He put his finger to her cheek, turning her to look at him. “... you were going to leave in two days? Without saying goodbye to O? To me?”

“Bellamy… I didn’t want to make you sadder. I knew you would’ve hated it if I left… I didn’t know what else to do.” She whispered into his chest, pulling him closer. He seemed distant now… he was hurt. 

“Clarke… do you care about me?” She spun her head towards him, her eyes wide. He was clearly hurt and upset, and he had a right to be, but… was he blind. 

“Of fucking course I do, Bellamy. It’s just…” She sighed, looking away from him this time. “Everyone I care about is  _ dead _ . My parents drank themselves to death and… I don’t want anything to happen to you Bellamy. Death follows me everywhere I go."

"That isn't true, Clarke. I'm not going anywhere. I'm a survivor. We both are." He smiled, looking into her eyes and returning them with a serious glare. "I love you." For a second, she had a shocked expression on her face, and he regretted it. "I'm sorry, if we're moving too-"

"I love you, too, Bellamy Blake." She smiled, pressing her lips against his as he smiled against her. "I'm sorry I was going to leave."

"I forgive you. Actually, I have a surprise for you." He smiled, getting up from the bed at once. She squinted her eyes in suspicion, afraid of what it was. "It's in the lobby."

"It?"

"I'll need you to wear this, princess." She took the dark blindfold from him, her suspicion even higher now. "Don't worry, a velociraptor isn't going to eat your pretty face."

"Haha." Clarke pouted, tying the cloth around her face with a smile. "I swear to god, Bellamy, if you scare me…"

"You don't give me any credit." He smiled, leading her forward. She heard the door shut behind them and their footsteps echo across the hallway. His scent was the only thing she could focus as she heard the remnants of laughter and the rustling of paper in front her. “Okay, Clarke, take it off.” She could hear his smirk as she removed the blindfold, met with absolute darkness… and then the lights turned on. 

There were all of her friends: Raven, Harper, Octavia, Miller… everyone. There were snacks lining the chairs, along with  _ The Princess Bride  _ set onto the television. A banner was thrown above the television, reading the words  _ Happy Birthday _ in a large font. “ _ SURPRISE!”  _

She laughed for a moment, before looking to Bellamy, a grin spreading across her face. “Oh my God, guys!” She giggled making her way towards her friends, who began to chat amongst themselves, making Clarke feel a little less overwhelmed. “You knew it was my birthday?” Clarke smiled towards her boyfriend who nodded, his face resembling a puppy.

“Clarke, for your birthday… we -well, Octavia and me- got you something.” Octavia walked forward, a sheet of paper in her hands. Their hands touched as Clarke took it, a curious smile on her face. 

_ To whom it may concern, Clarke Abby Griffin will be sustaining her lessons at Arkadia University until further notice is given. The dormitory in which she has been staying has been moved to The Cabin for safety and comfort reasons, and unless further reason for suspicion, Ms. Griffin will continue her classes at our university.  _

“Oh my God…” She gasped, then looked up to Bellamy, a look of utter confusion painted across her face. “Wait, did… did you pay them, Bellamy?” 

“No, no. It turns out that the senator of Arkadia Bay -Octavia and my mother- calling their college a mess and threatening to have it investigated for mistreatment of students can change minds.” Bellamy grinned from ear to ear as he looked back to Octavia and Clarke who both had the same eager expression on her face. “Clarke?”

In one second, she closed the distance between them, squeezing him as tightly as he could in her arms. She quickly felt tears morphing in her eyes, and Bellamy’s face twisted in regret, thinking he’d done something wrong. “N-no, don’t cry, Clarke. Did I-”

“No, it’s… it’s not that. No one’s ever done something like that for me, Bellamy.” She cried in his arms, hugging him tighter. Bellamy looked to Octavia who had already gathered their friends at the couch, waiting for Clarke and Bellamy to start the movie. Octavia knew she didn’t like attention, so she didn’t want to embarrass her friend by having twenty people watch her cry. “I love you so much.” She cried against him as he hugged her tighter.

“I love you too, princess. C’mon, everyone’s waiting for us.”

“Okay.”    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little fluff chapter for everyone, hope you enjoyed! comments and kudos are always appreciated.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn was gone... so why did Clarke keep seeing him?

"Bellamy?" He groaned in response, his face imprinted into the pillow beneath him. They had slept in the same bed for the first time. Nothing else. Just the same bed.

"Are things going to change now that the storm's cleared?" She asked, brushing her fingers through his curls. "Will things be different?"

"No, why would things change?"

"I don't know, you're the… the perfect golden boy, and I'm just… me. What if you forget about me, or one of those cheerleaders-"

" _ Clarke. _ " He looked down at her, a hard expression in his eyes. At once, he sat up, pulling her against him, his chest hugging her back. "That will never happen, I can't ever forget you. We've gotta get to those picket fences… right?"

"Yeah… yeah, you're right. I'm sorry."

"Clarke. When you're with me, don't apologize for being you. You don't need to hide anything from me, we're together now, which means we do everything…"

"Together." Clarke nodded against him, turning around to look him in the eyes. "I love you, Bellamy Blake."

"I love you, too." They sat in silence before Bellamy cleared his throat, suddenly anxious. "We need to pick your stuff up from your dorm today. Octavia got most of your stuff from the new one."

"... okay." Clarke whispered, closing her eyes. She felt his gaze on her, but her eyes remained closed until two hours later: ten A.M.

"Hey, Clarke… we should go, before the snow relapses." Bellamy whispered, shaking her awake slightly. "Hey, beautiful." He smiled when her eyelids fluttered, meeting his eyes. They had stayed like that for two hours, Bellamy just watching her breath. Her chest rise up and down. She looked so peaceful like that.

"Hm." She moaned softly, rolling over on his chest to close her eyes again.

He grinned, running his fingers through her golden hair. "Clarke." He hummed, getting up from the bed, no matter how much it hurt. "We don't wanna be stuck in the final snowfall tonight."

"'Final snowfall…' That's what they said last time. Can't we just stay in bed a little longer?" She groaned, closing her eyes again. She reached for his hand, but was returned with a jacket. "Bel…" 

"Clarke. We need to go… I'll make you a cup of coffee, get up… for me, please?"

"That's not fair, Bellamy Blake." As she awoke, her hair was a mess, strands of gold falling on either side, framing her face. "Alright, fine… we can go to… the place."

She said it with such a vile tone and such an awful face that Bellamy wanted to rewind, to never wake up the beauty, his sleeping beauty. "I'm right here. If you really don't want to go, we don't have to."

"No, I… I have pictures of my parents there. They're probably already shitty because of the cold and stuff, but-"

"I'm sure they're fine, princess." He smiled, helping her as she wobbled on her feet, her face full of exhaustion.

"Jesus, my head hurts." She groaned, sealing her jacket closed around tightly as they paced towards the exits of the dorm building.

"Wait… we should take some supplies. It's supposed to snow, and if we're not back by noon, we could get stuck." His face was serious as he packed four snack bars into his bag along with a small blanket. 

"Jeez, Bear Grills, really preparing for survival, huh?" She smiled, rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes. Without makeup, Clarke rendered absolutely beautiful, her golden hair framing her cheek-bones perfectly.

"Can't ever be too careful, Clarke. Don't want you freezing to death." He smiled, kissing the tip of her forehead and zipping her jacket a little more before grabbing her hand and opening the exit, faced with a whirl of snow as they sprinted to the car. 

"You in?" Clarke gasped as she nearly dove into the back seat, sprawling herself across it, her tire returning. “It’s freezing in here.” She rubbed her arms, her breath displaying before her. Bellamy reached back, shrouding her with one of the blankets he’d taken from the dorm. “You need it, too.”

“It’s fine, it’s not a long drive.” He smiled, breathing into his hands to warm them up before starting the engine. “Are you cold?”

“Not as cold as you.” She moved closer to him, sharing the blanket to his distaste. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Okay.”

When they got there, he saw Clarke shiver, but he wasn’t sure it was because of the cold. “Are you okay?” Bellamy asked, his expression sweet.

“I’m fine…” She looked away, zipping her jacket up and taking her keys from her pocket, looking back to Bellamy. “... c’mon.”

“Okay.” They exited the truck, slamming the doors behind them. A sprint broke out to the doors between the couple, snow barrelling around them as Clarke pushed them open, shutting them as she felt Bellamy run in beside her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, you?” He nodded, taking her hand. They were in, now all they had to do was survive the storm on the inside of the building.  
“Okay… let’s go.” She took his hand, squeezing it. She didn’t want to go up there, see the blood on her carpet. “Clarke, it’s okay. I’m right here. If you want, you can stay down here and I can pack everything up.”

“N-no, I… I want to go.” She nodded, walking as he led them up the stairs to the second floor… room twelve. “Okay…” She breathed, a shaky hand moving the key to the lock of the door. It clicked, and Bellamy pushed it open, revealing a small puddle of blood at the foot of the bed. Her dorm was one room. 

She felt her stomach churn at the sight and in a second, she was running to the window, letting her stomach unfill out of the open window. “Clarke!” Bellamy ran to her, holding her hair back as she vomited, until eventually, she was done, and she hid in his arms, wiping her mouth. “Do you want to wait outside?”

She was silent, but she nodded, walking out of the room. As she shut the door, she sat against the wall next to it, hiding her face in her hands. 

It was hard, having been so progressive in the month and then feeling everything just come back crashing down. The blood… it felt like it was on her hands again and she couldn’t get it out. It was just all there. 

She heard Bellamy shuffling around on the other side of the door, and looked down the hallway. It was a ghost-town. A remnant of her former home. She saved so much to get here, salvaged every single penny to get this… this nightmare of a school. 

After her parents died, her only aunt sent her away to some random home… well, if you could call it that. Four meals a week and mattresses replacing beds because they wanted to use their money from the government for drugs and alcohol… not kids. 

“Clarke.” Clarke looked up to see her boyfriend, two suit-cases in his hands. “Ready to go?” He asked, his voice soft. He sat beside her, kneeling in front of her. “You okay?”

“No…” She shook her head, looking at him and taking his hands. “Thank you… for coming with me, after all I’ve put you through.”

“Clarke. I’m never leaving you. Ever.” He smiled, pulling her up with the two bags in his other arms. 

It was quiet as they ran into the car, their skins both suddenly white and freezing. The snowfall had worsened and Clarke felt pounds of snow fall off her jacket as she replaced it with a blanket. 

She heard the engine start, and soon enough, the dorm building was retracting, disappearing from sight. "It's really coming down." Bellamy squinted, trying to look through the glass, but it was no use… they were blind literally. "Shit.  _ Fuck. _ "

"Bellamy?" Her voice was already weak. She still had two bruises from Finn that hadn't healed, and she wasn't exactly warm before. He had to get her home. "Bel? What is it?" 

"The… I can't see, Clarke, we're…"

"We're stuck… aren't we?..." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He nodded, looking back at her. "Fuck."

"Fuck is right. Okay, I'll call O. She has a plow on her truck, she can get us out with Miller." He nodded, taking one of the blankets from his bag, covering himself in it. “It’s okay, Clarke, we’re going to be okay. We’ll be out in a little bit, okay?”

“Okay.” Her teeth were already chattering as the snow pounded on the doors, begging to be let in. “Come here, we should s-share body heat.” Bellamy climbed towards her, taking her in his arms and squeezing hard, trying to hide her from the cold. 

“Fuck, this is my fault… you said we shouldn’t have gone, fuck.” Clarke looked up, her skin much paler than it had been previously. 

“B-Bellamy, this isn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself and get another blanket.” She smiled, ruffling his hair weakly. He could feel his own strength escaping him, but he needed to stay strong… for Clarke, who was curled up in Bellamy, barely awake. She wasn’t in the best health previously, due to Finn. She’d never been the best physically, but… that wasn’t a problem, until now. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t fall asleep, that’s not good.” He warned, covering the both of them with two blankets he had packed, but they did little to alleviate the cold running through their veins.   
It reminded her of when they first met, he saved her. She owed him. She had to make sure he made it out of this. “B-Bellamy, take my blanket.”

“What, Clarke, are you-”

“You have more of a chance of… getting out. I’m already too w-weak.” She chattered, shredding her blanket off of her weak frame, but he instantly tied her back up in it, an angry look on his face. “Bel-”  
“You’re insane if you think you’re dying here, Clarke. We didn’t come this far to let a little snow take us out.” He smirked, pulling her closer. He needed her to get out of this, because if she didn’t, he was dead, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, updates soon! sorry to leave this off so randomly, i just want to get it out because im having internet issues and don't want to not be able to upload for a week.


	17. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy are freezing, until someone comes to their rescue.

“B-Bellamy, this isn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself and get another blanket.” She smiled, ruffling his hair weakly. He could feel his own strength escaping him, but he needed to stay strong… for Clarke, who was curled up in Bellamy, barely awake. She wasn’t in the best health previously, due to Finn. She’d never been the best physically, but… that wasn’t a problem, until now. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t fall asleep, that’s not good.” He warned, covering the both of them with two blankets he had packed, but they did little to alleviate the cold running through their veins.   
It reminded her of when they first met, he saved her. She owed him. She had to make sure he made it out of this. “B-Bellamy, take my blanket.”

“What, Clarke, are you-”

“You have more of a chance of… getting out. I’m already too w-weak.” She chattered, shredding her blanket off of her weak frame, but he instantly tied her back up in it, an angry look on his face. “Bel-”  
“You’re insane if you think you’re dying here, Clarke. We didn’t come this far to let a little snow take us out.” He smirked, pulling her closer. He needed her to get out of this, because if she didn’t, he was dead, too. 

“I-I don’t know… I c-can’t really feel-”

“Clarke, stop. Please.” She looked up at him, her breath showing in front of her as Bellamy pulled her closer. “Octavia’s on h-her way.” He chattered, staring aggressively at the phone in his hands, begging for the symbol to show in front of them. 

“Bellamy, take a damn blanket. You’re freezing.” For once, she didn’t allow him to reject her as she shrouded one of her two blankets, pulling it over him tightly. 

“No, Clarke, you’re cold. I need to protect-”

“Bellamy, listen to yourself. You’re insane, keep your b-blanket on. I’m fine. If Octavia’s almost here, then…” Clarke stopped for a moment, rubbing the blanket up and down her arms, then looking to Bellamy. “We’ll survive, I’ll survive.”

“You better, or else I’ll murder you.” She chuckled for a second, and suddenly, Bellamy’s phone rang, causing her to jump against him. “O?”

“Where the fuck are you guys? I can’t see shit, Harper’s got the plow going but we’re barely moving. Are you by the dorm? What the fuck, Bellamy, you should’ve waited until the storm passed tomorrow, you’re such a stupid shit sometimes!” She screamed into the phone so loud that Clarke could hear it from Bellamy’s ear. Clarke smiled for a second until Bellamy turned it on speaker, lowering the volume. 

“O, we’re a half-way between Clarke’s dorm and ours. You should see it, our truck’s black for fuck’s sake.” Bellamy hissed. He normally wouldn’t be so pissy, but his girlfriend was freezing next to him. He was desperate. 

“O-Octavia, we’re on Kane S-street.” Clarke whispered, not having the strength to raise her voice any more. “Right at the end, where we u-used to break open those fire-hydrants.” She chattered, smiling at the warm memory. Octavia and Clarke had been best friends since they were around eleven. Clarke  _ always  _ had a crush on her hot older brother. 

“Oh, okay. That’s not far. When you get in here, I’ve got my ass-warming seats, so you’ll be all toasty when we get here.” Bellamy rolled his eyes, but Clarke smiled, cringing as Octavia hung up on her side. 

“See? Fine.”

“If they get here soon enough.” Bellamy shivered, pulling Clarke only closer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for all the short chapters! i'm graduating eighth grade this week, so i've got a shit load of work to finish and get ready for stuff. i'm sorry, it's gonna be short ones this week, sorry for inconvenience!


	18. Chapter Nineteen: Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's freezing as the Blake's rush to get her home.

He was gone. He was really gone. "B-Bellamy! Bellamy, I swear if you fucking die right now, I'll fucking kill you." She hissed, quickly tearing her jacket and blanket off, shrouding it around him. Bellamy being… Bellamy. Well, he gave his blanket to Clarke, and now his skin was freezing and his eyes were closing.

"Bellamy, I swear, don't. Please, please don't. I can't do this without you." She stripped down to her undergarments, trying to get every bit covered. "Bellamy,  _ please. _ " Clarke's voice broke as she rubbed her hand against her freezing skin. She couldn't feel anything. Not her limbs, or her heart beating. All that mattered was Bellamy. 

Her eyes began to shut, and she suddenly felt hot. Her head felt like it was burning, so she tore her scarf from her neck, carefully tying it around Bellamy. Suddenly, something moved behind her, and she heard a quick curse word, them even more movement… and then she was gone. 

Something moved next to her. She felt nothing, just her eyelids shrouding her face. Clarke couldn't talk. She couldn't move. She couldn't even see. 

Hair was brushed from her face and Clarke suddenly realized she was sitting on someone. It smelled like… Bellamy. He was alive. She did it. "Bellamy." It wasn't Clarke's voice. It was… Octavia's. "She's alive. You did everything you could."

"O, she tried to save me when I passed out. I don't know how long she was like that, in her fucking underwear in below zero… because of me."

“Not because of you, because she loved you.”

“... loved?” Octavia looked away from the steering wheel for a second, cursing in her brain. 

“Loves, she loves you.” They sat still, the only sound Clarke’s labored breathing. She was wrapped in at least three blankets, Bellamy concealing her in his arms. 

“You don’t think she’s going to make it… do you?” Octavia sighed, a tear freezing on her skin. Bellamy’s expression was blank. He looked down to his girlfriend, his panic only increasing. 

“Bellamy-”

“Don’t, just… just go faster, Octavia.”  _ Octavia.  _ He only said her full name when he was upset. Octavia sighed, nearly flooring the pedal as the dorm building’s shadow came into view in the raging storm. 

“Okay, we’re here. You got her?” Bellamy nodded as Octavia ran out of her side, quickly opening the door on her brother’s and helping him with the weight of Clarke. “Let’s go, c’mon. She can’t get any colder.”

“No shit.” Bellamy groaned as Clarke rustled in his arms, a small, weak moan escaping her lips for a moment. “Okay, okay. Clarke, c’mon.” The door snapped open as Octavia pushed it open, literally pulling Bellamy open. 

Before they could even breath, Bellamy heard a glass crash to the ground, but it didn’t break. Just threw itself across the carpet. “Guys?” It was Raven. Her skin was nearly as pale as Clarke’s as the girl approached her friend’s… well it looked like her corpse. 

“Don’t ask.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading, guys! kudos/comments are always appreciated!


	19. Chapter Twenty: Fin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke wakes up to a broken Bellamy.

The only sound was his humming as his fingers brushed through her frozen hair. Octavia was outside, trying to allow her brother and Clarke the slightest bit of privacy she could afford, though that was hard with the circumstances. 

_ “Hey, hey. Don’t fall asleep, that’s not good.” He warned, covering the both of them with two blankets he had packed, but they did little to alleviate the cold running through their veins.  _

_ It reminded her of when they first met, he saved her. She owed him. She had to make sure he made it out of this. “B-Bellamy, take my blanket.” _

_ “What, Clarke, are you-” _

_ “You have more of a chance of… getting out. I’m already too w-weak.” She chattered, shredding her blanket off of her weak frame, but he instantly tied her back up in it, an angry look on his face. “Bel-” _

_ “You’re insane if you think you’re dying here, Clarke. We didn’t come this far to let a little snow take us out.” He smirked, pulling her closer. He needed her to get out of this, because if she didn’t, he was dead, too.  _

He promised. Bellamy promised that she would be safe. She would come back to the dorm with her eyes open and a smile on her face. With a sick twist in his stomach he looked down to Clarke’s unconscious body. 

Her lips were a light, icy blue, twisted into a deep frown. Snow was dotted across her eyelashes and hair, along with Bellamy. They’d been out there for thirty minutes… thirty minutes of chattered breath and clinging to each other for breath and warmth like nothing else mattered in the world. It was like if they survived this one nightmare, they could make it through all the others… if only they’d survive this one nightmare. If she would. 

Once again, he began humming the same song his mother had uttered to her every night until grade-school. 

“ _ Mom, I’m old now! I don’t want someone to see you humming to me like a little kid.” Twelve-year-old Bellamy squealed, his eyes darting to the school entrance and his mother hugging him, humming against his curly black hair.  _

_ “Oh, you’re so big now?” Aurora laughed. Her laugh was sweet… was. After Bellamy’s mother died, his father had gone off and married some college-girl, a fact that Octavia and Bellamy didn’t let him live down. They stopped calling him ‘Dad’ after that. It was either replaced with his name, or most of the time, ‘daddy-douchebag,’ thanks to Octavia. “Okay, since you’re a man now, I’m sure you can cook dinner tonight and do all your chores, then?” _

_“No, that’s not fair! Does Octavia have to do it?”_ _  
__“Well, Octavia isn’t a ‘big man’ yet. If you are-”_

_ “Fine, fine! I’ll be a little kid, but only for today! Tomorrow I’m a grown-up again!” Bellamy groaned, rolling his eyes as she once again began humming into his hair. “Okay, mom, I gotta go. I’ll be late.” _ _   
_

_ "Okay, sweetie.” She kissed his forehead one last time before he escaped, closing the door gently behind him. “Love you!”  _

_ “Mom!” He whined, holding a finger to his lips with a red face. “... love you.” He murmured when he heard the car drive away.  _

She groaned,a wave of pain immediately washing over her as her eyes shot open. Clarke was surprised to find a warm body holding her. At first, she thought it was a nightmare, a sick joke taunting her before she slipped away. It was when she saw his classic smile she felt the warmness surrounding her finally reach her. “ _ Bellamy _ ?”

“Clarke.” He grinned, his lips immediately pushing against her. “Oh, God, are you okay? You were so cold, I-I didn’t know if-”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. You saved me. Again.”   


“ _ I did? _ If you hadn’t given me your clothes, I… thank you.” He murmured again, taking her in her arms as he saw the glisten in her eyes. “I almost didn’t get you home this time, Clarke.”   


“I know. I’m sorry for scaring you like that.” She murmured against his hair. A tingle bled through him and he couldn’t help but remind himself of that day in front of the school with his mother… the day of the accident. “You’ve… you’ve saved me so many times, Bellamy. With F… with Finn, with the cold… from myself.” 

“I never… I’ve never thanked you. For all those times. I don’t think- I know I wouldn’t be alive without you, even if I survived all of that shit until now…”

He held her tighter as he heard a sniffle come from behind him. “The same goes for me, Clarke. After my mother’s accident, I was gone. I had Octavia, but… but that was it. Then, you came along. I remember it. It was six years ago. Junior year, prom.” 

Clarke smiled, thinking back to that night. “You wore that sparkling ivory dress. Octavia said it matched your eyes, but back then, I-I couldn’t say anything. I was too scared. That night, dancing with you… it was the happiest of my life, Clarke.”

“I love you, Bellamy.”   


“I love you, princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank everyone so much for reading this entire series! I know it took me four days to publish this, but it was because this was my third draft of this finale. I wanted to make it a poetic ending, and I feel connected from Bellamy's biggest grief (Aurora) to him finally getting over it with Clarke was good. So many people have read this work... 3.5K... oh no. How have so many people thought I was important enough to spend their time on? I want to thank each and every one of you and tell you how grateful I am for every single one of you. Thank you all so much, not just for reading, but for all of the positive feedback and comments I got on this. I love all of you guys, it's been great. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! please leave a comment telling me what'd you thought about this first chapter, and a kudos! thanks!


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